I managed to consciously push myself into a conscious dream state 2 or 3 times this morning. I've been trying since my last post, and it isn't easy. I'm still not sure what conditions are amenable to succeeding.

It reminds me of Star Trek-like scenarios where they're dealing with fabric of space challenges like trying to keep wormholes stable or negotiating different dimensional realities. But it's "psychic" space in this case. Difficult to induce, difficult to maintain.

As difficult as it is to induce these dream states, I'm not surprised that when I first managed it this morning, I was lying in a bed since that was what I was actually doing. When the dream coalesced, the color of the room was a cold light blue and bare. I could look down towards the foot of the bed and see the entrance of the bedroom and see that it led into a hall of a colonial-type architecture house. And that's all it was for a few seconds, just a framework dream image.

Then in what could have been a horror film image, a ghostly image floated into the room and came towards me lying in bed. When it reached me, it turned around and turns out it was a woman. She resembled a past girlfriend, Shiho, but her personality was too flighty to be her.

It was apparent we were intimate. I remember telling her that this was a dream and I was conscious of it, but she didn't respond to that. I don't remember how it ended, but it probably fell apart as I couldn't maintain it in my consciousness.

I'm remembering the second and third dreams as one dream, even though I remember a total of three instances of pushing myself into these dream states. There are both differences in the former and latter parts of the dream, but also a continuity, so I'm not really sure. No surprise, we're talking about dreams.

It was set in a corner apartment on the second or third floor of a building with an outside view, afternoon-ish, orange-y light, and also a mysterious woman with whom I had an ambiguous relationship. It seemed like our interactions indicated some level of intimacy and at one point I coyly asked her what her name was, which she coyly avoided answering.

That's interesting because I was consciously asking what her name was to try to get more information about the dream, but her avoidance is also a reflection of my subconscious. What about my subconscious, I don't know. Maybe it just didn't know who she was. That . . . makes sense.

In another part of the dream, I saw a post-it that included my name on it. I forget if there was any qualifier regarding it, like indicating an appointment, but I remember the awareness in the context of the dream that the people in the dream knew who I was. Or not.

Also as an indicator of my level of consciousness, at some point, one of the people in the dream suggested going to a certain place, naming it by name. It could've been a bar, an eatery or a record store. So I asked, "You mean so-and-so place in . . ." trying to prompt them to give an indication of where the dream was taking place. They didn't take the bait.

A difference between these forced consciousness dreams and ordinary sleep dreams is that I can remember them more clearly afterwards, whereas sleep dreams start fading within minutes and can completely disappear in hours. Still, as I try to recall them now, it's apparent I should still rely on recording them orally because they do fade.

As I mentioned, I still don't know what conditions are amenable to inducing these forced dream states. Insomnia or some sort of sleep disturbance seems to play a part. Otherwise I'd simply fall asleep.

There's some sort of balance involved between not being able to fall asleep, and navigating a liminal state where I know I haven't gotten a full night's rest, and I'm still trying to get more sleep.