November 21-29

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21 - Emptied compartments, each once hosted lives, dramas and stories. Everyone who once lived in them has their memories of their particular boxes. Pentax ZX-5n, Ilford XP2 Super.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22 - Dajia Riverside Park.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 27 - Along the riverside bikeways.

Guangdu Temple plaza.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 8:43 p.m. - IXUS 860 IS, digital black & white not my favorite, but sometimes almost interesting. Raohe area of the Keelung River (my neighborhood).

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1:05 p.m. - Muzha photostitch. MRT brown line along the right arriving at its terminus at Taipei Zoo Station. Graves of Fudekeng cemetery dot the hillside at the left.

Riding the Metro (地下鐵に乘って) (Chinese title: "Passing Through Space-Time Subway")

I have no idea what attracted me to rent this DVD when I saw it at Blockbusters. Sure, it's a Japanese film, and I prefer Japanese culture to Chinese, but I've seen my share of dissatisfying Japanese films. Everything was in Chinese, so I couldn't read a smidge of what the movie was about. I only figured out the Chinese title afterwards. The English title, a direct translation of the Japanese, was obscure on the cover and there was nothing particularly attractive about it. It was a 'hail Mary' rental. How bad could it be?

Turns out it is one of those "out there" Japanese films which had a lot of potential but dropped the ball in so many places. It introduces a father character that you hate from the first moment you see him and then tries to draw sympathy for him later on. It opens up a device which allows for transformation or catharsis and then doesn't use it. It has a twist that might be regarded as a revelation, but doing the math, which the movie doesn't do at all, you end up with (wtf?) incest!

Trying not to spoil anything, but the "ring" thing would have fit better and made more sense about 10 minutes or so later. It's the little things like this that disappoint me. I want this film to be so much more than it is.

On the other hand, it's watchable, and it's only when I started thinking about it that I started being dissatisfied. I watched it twice through with no problem, so the pacing is fine and it's not disinteresting visually. The concept is intriguing enough, even though it makes no sense.

It's about a Japanese salaryman who finds himself being transported back in time to different periods of his estranged father's life (he legally separated from his father after his older brother's death, which he blames on his father). It doesn't make sense how this happens, there's no logic to it – although I'm a forgiving viewer, I didn't need logic. But I needed a reason for this gimmick, I needed connections, catharsis or revelation.

Like in "Field of Dreams", what happened didn't make sense, it wasn't logical, but we got a huge revelation and catharsis at the end. We got meaning. We got baseball. In "Riding the Metro", we get emotions, but they don't get attached to the people or their relationships, and that's what I think the movie needed to do.

I wouldn't not recommend this film, but with a caveat. Fans of Japanese film might still enjoy it. 5 out of 10 tomatoes.

The one fantastic thing that came to me from this film is that the end credit song Platform introduced me to singer Salyu, who has such an incredible emotional range. Highly recommend checking her out.

I would have voted against Proposition 8 in California, however, I think its passage shows what democracy is about. Maybe. I think democracy worked.

As it looked like it was going to pass, in my own disbelief, I thought, "What the hell, isn't the legislature supposed to pass laws? Not the people!" Oh, wait.

Whoops, I realized. The legislature is an elected body that's supposed to represent the various communities of a geographic area. Communities send their representatives to governments to represent their interests.

However, if the people's representatives aren't doing the will of the people on a particular issue, it's in the people's rights to take it to the streets and vote for legislation they want passed by themselves. Ergo Proposition 8. People against gay marriage mobilized to speak their will. It was a fair fight as far as I can tell, and they won.

That's why California has the proposition system. Not every piece of legislation should be taken to the people, because that would be too much, too cumbersome, that's why we have representatives; but when there's an issue that's important enough and stands out enough, this is what will happen.

Rallies continue against the passage of Proposition 8, and I'm not impressed by what people are saying. One person was saying it was unfair because the propaganda confused people. To me, that person was saying people are too stupid not to be confused. They can't tell one side of an issue and an argument for themselves. All it takes is a little confusing propaganda and they will vote totally contrary to what they would have voted.

I saw one sign saying "Marriage is a human right". This is a personal beef, but marriage is not a human right, it's a civil right. Marriage is not a right conferred on individuals as a result of their basic humanity. It's a right conferred as a result of being a part of a particular civil society (nb: The China Post did just run an article in which someone correctly identified marriage as a civil right).

That said, the fight for gay marriage will continue and will succeed in the end. Maybe in another 10, 20, 30 years. But I see an analogy with interracial marriage. It was not long ago that it was absolutely inconceivable for a black man to marry a white woman. It was a lynching crime. It was a crime punishable by death (for the darker part of the marriage, at least).

It's hard to imagine now, but that's because of the tide of social change. The same social currents will eventually make people realize that marriage, the legal and sacred social union between two people, is not constrained by a narrow ideology, whether it be religion or homophobia.

So fight on supporters of gay marriage. I back it and will voice my opinion in backing it. But on this past election day, in this time, in that place, opponents won fair and square. Whether the issue takes the short cut to the Supreme Court and gets ruled unconstitutional is another issue. The California Supreme Court already ruled on the issue, and would likely strike down Prop 8.

As for the U.S. Supreme Court, they'll likely continue to try to duck the issue as long as possible until it is politically ready. That's how they work, and actually I think that's part of their wisdom.

I don't know if I should be watching what I say about suicide anymore. On one hand, my previous principle holds: If I'm not going through with it right now, I'm not going to now or in the near future. It's not reality. It's only reality if I'm going to implement a plan right now.

Planning for the future is just fantasy. And that goes for anything aside from suicide, too. I can have a plan in place and a time frame, but if it's not now, I don't believe it and neither should anyone else. I just have faith that right now will eventually happen. And sometimes right now needs a little encouragement.

On the other hand, the word 'inevitable' still means something to me, and looking at all the evidence and circumstances, I absolutely think and believe that I will succeed one of these days. I will not die a horrible natural death, peacefully in my sleep; or out of my control being hit by a bus on my bike; or indirectly through drinking myself to death.

Suicide is something I have to do, something I have to accomplish, something I have to succeed in, something I can't fail in. And it frightens me that it's not fact. I might still be on the fence. I can still be pulled. Fortunately, the "facts" don't indicate otherwise. Everything points to suicide, and it's only my own doubts, my insecurity that makes me think I won't do it.

Truth is, the longer I drag this out, spanning years into decades, the more irrelevant this equivocating gets. Not getting any younger, not getting any of these years back. Suicide starts making even more sense. And it made sense from the very beginning.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1:08 p.m. - Cemetery on the way to Ruifang. The ride to Ruifang is pretty far continuing all the way to the coast. It involves taking Highway 5 east almost to Keelung City, but turning right on Highway 2丁 at Badu 八堵 prior to entering the city proper. 

1:49 p.m. - Ruifang 瑞芳 is a town just off the coast and is the transit town to go to the tourist attraction of Jiufen by train (after the train to Ruifang, buses go to Jiufen). Jiufen has become famous as the inspiration town for Hayao Miyazaki's "Spirited Away". That's the Keelung River flowing west in the bottom pic, having been thwarted from making it to the ocean.

2:08 p.m. - Leaving Ruifang it's a quick, short up and down to the coast. Keelung Peak shrouded by clouds. Turn left on Highway 2 to head up the coast to Keelung City.

2:13 p.m. - Sights along Highway 2. Some people like flowers, or insects, or wildlife. I like abandoned buildings.

2:25 p.m. - A well-marked diversion off the highway to the Badouzi seaside park area.

2:26 p.m. - Keelung Islet (believe it or not).

2:31 p.m. - Keelung Peak still shrouded by clouds. The rock sticking out into the water at the right has a natural attraction that I didn't see called Elephant Trunk Rock because it has a rock formation in the shape of an antelope elephant.

3:26-3:30 p.m. - Highway 2 goes through Keelung City proper and continues along the coast all the way to Danshui, but signs are clear about how to get back to Highway 5 to go back to Taipei. These are not on Highway 5. Highway 5 is rideable, but it's still a major highway and getting off it at an obvious point (there's a point where 5 veers diagonally to the left, but the road itself continues straight) was a no-brainer. Just follow the sun west to Taipei.

4:10 p.m. - Photostitch of Nanyang Bridge over the Keelung River. This is not the actual eastern border of Taipei and Xizhi, but in my cyclist's mind it serves as the border. When I get to this bridge, in my mind I'm back in Taipei.

4:19 p.m. - Getting on the riverside bikeway at the Nanyang Bridge, it's bikeway all the way home for most part. Actually, according to the map, this is closer to the actual border and I'm shooting from Taipei and that's Xizhi across the canal on the left. Across the Keelung River on the right is all Taipei.

I'm feeling a need to tear everything down again, strike the set, rip up the canvas.

Unfortunately, this is nothing new. I have nothing to say about it that I haven't said about it before, which makes it even more boring.

I want everyone and everything in my life, which isn't much mind you, out of my life. I'm quitting the band in February at the latest, my next destination will be Kaohsiung to regroup, but before I leave Taipei, I have to fit in another suicide ... thingie, whatever, just as I did before I left San Francisco. It just wouldn't feel right without it. Nor would I be able to get momentum to leave without it. Maybe it should be a ritual.

That's just a feeling, not a declaration of an intended act.

Everything needs to be put down, everything needs to die. Not me, everything outside of me. But there's only one way to do that, which is to get rid of this manifestation of me. And I need to dig. I need to dig to get to the core of me. I need to dig to get down to the ground of being. I need to dive into the depths. I need to swim and know what it's like to have no shore.

Three Times (最好的時光) (2005, Taiwan)

I'm a huge fan of Taiwanese director Hou Hsiao-Hsien, so I'm a little biased. This film isn't anything groundbreaking, but it's worth watching for HHH fans. It's in his trademark lethargic style, no surprise there, but instead of one long feature film which may try the patience of viewers not accustomed to his style, this film is broken into three segments in three different time periods.

Each segment focuses on a man and a woman, played by the same actors, and the relationship between them.

HHH does what he does so well – he gives us a meditative feel for Taiwan culture and society. In this film, he does it in three different time periods. I'm not sure what he was trying to do with this gimmick, whether he was trying to contrast them or say something about love or society and how they've changed, but it doesn't really matter.

As with all HHH films, he just sort of presents something and it's up to the audience to glean what they do. His films are ethereal and they seem to portray existence and reality in a meditative twilight. I think this was the first HHH film I've seen in Taiwan, and after watching this and going out into the Taipei streets, I felt like I was in one of his films.

Although I don't know if that says something about the film being a success in conveying a feeling, or if there's just something wrong with me.

Not a stand-out HHH film, but I'm still biased and give it a personal 8 out of 10 tomatoes. To people unfamiliar with his films, I would add a strong caveat that his films are very slow and meditative.

I must say, I was quite proud to be an American this past Tuesday. Well, Wednesday in Taiwan. I mean, really proud. Americans did something right.

Not quite so proud of my co-workers who couldn't get the date right in my absence. I had Wednesday night off, and when I came in on Thursday for my shift, I picked up the day's paper from a stack at the entrance to review the previous day's work as we do everyday, and I immediately wondered why Tuesday's paper was on the stack. I'm not perfect, I miss mistakes that then go to press. But the date on the front page of a historic story? Come on.

Being a racial minority growing up in the U.S., it was hard to be proud of being American when you weren't considered American. Then the first time I started feeling proud to be American was after Sept. 11. I don't know why. Maybe the shock and outrage of that event made me realize that it's still my country and I did care about it. Why? Because I'm American. Simple.

Even Bush's bungled aftermath which should have returned me to cynicism towards America, didn't. But seeing Barack Obama with Michelle Obama on the stage after their victory, a black couple, side-by-side with Joe Biden and his wife, white couple, and thinking, that couple, the black one, will be the first family, not the white one, and that is huge.

I wonder why I haven't heard of any reporting on people who voted strictly on racial lines, because you know they're out there. People who voted for McCain, just because they would never vote for an African American. They might have been willing to vote Democratic after 8 years of Bush, but black? No way.

Instead, we just get reports that there is "no evidence" of racial bias or underlying, hidden racism in voting patterns. Give me a break.

There are a lot of racist people in the U.S., why should they be left out of reporting? Hate is different from racism. Hate groups might be better left out of reporting, but even they've gotten more coverage than the racists who might be willing to come right out and explain it.

There was a clip on CNN of an Italian guy saying that McCain would win because he was the "true American" and Americans would never let Obama become president. I want that guy interviewed.

I think racism is primitive and uncivilized, but it's out there, and it doesn't get stamped out by ignoring it. Racism, different from hate, is something people can come to terms with. Hate, on the other hand, is irrational and its social manifestations should be dealt with under the law.

I admit that I'm racist towards whites. I admit that I'm prejudiced towards blacks. I agree that it's primitive and uncivilized and would rather not be this way. But I deny that I harbor hate towards either of them.

My racism towards whites was more of a response to their racism towards me. I wasn't born racist against whites, I learned it. In grade school, I was taught to humiliate Asians as foreign, different, inferior. I was rewarded for differentiating myself from Asians by talking down about Chinese, Japanese and Koreans to prove I was American – like the white Americans who were dishing out the perceived approval.

And then college happened, and I learned what that was all about, and about history. Being predisposed against white people was actually quite natural in that light. Does that make any difference when I meet someone who happens to be white? Not at all. When I meet someone, my vibe is purely based on personality and what I get from them personally, nothing to do with their race.

My prejudice against blacks is the same, and I choose my words carefully. I have a judgment before I meet them, also based on my experience. However, that's more of a defense and doesn't come into play whenever I meet with another human being. I deny being racist against blacks. I pre-judge because of my experience with specifically African Americans being racist towards Asians, but that judgment can be discounted within 5 seconds of meeting a person.

As a race, I hold blacks in pretty high regard. As a race, well, let's just say it's better that I deal with whites on an individual by individual basis. I've met some very cool white people in Taiwan, but the bottom of the barrel worst experiences with anyone here has been with whites, period. And don't even get me started about the Chinese.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 12:52 a.m. - Still Halloween as far as partying goes.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 12:06 p.m. - Riding to Pingxi from where I live now in Taipei involves riding east along Rte. 5 into Xizhi, and about halfway to Keelung turn right onto Xiping Rd (Xizhi-Pingxi, 北31). It also involves climbing a mountain to get there. 

12:09 p.m. - The valley Xiping Rd. climbs slowly through until hitting the part on the map where the road becomes very squiggly (see above pic).  

12:38 p.m. - Panshiling Viewpoint. Fortunately I don't do climbs for the views at the top.  

12:42 p.m. - And now for the screaming downhill into Pingxi.

12:53 p.m. - Quaint township Pingxi. What blows my mind is that this is the Keelung River! I don't know where the source is, but at this point it's heading east towards the coast where you'd think it'd drain into the Pacific O, but no!, before it reaches the coast it turns around and heads back west into Taipei to drain into the Danshui River. Go fig.