Saturday, September 20, 2008

I think I said it all when I said all I would want anyone to know about me is that I committed suicide. Why say anything else? Anything else I might say, I don't care about. All that's left is that I killed myself. And I haven't done that yet.

I've been being blog-stalked by people I know, and that's no good. Still no evidence that this blog has been breached. One of my fotologs was breached by my sister-in-law, and I stopped posting there and started another fotolog.

Wednesday, September 10, 1:54 a.m. - My neighborhood. Nothing special, but the last picture posted on the breached fotolog (and first on the new one).
I just thought it was creepy being blog-stalked by someone I know, i.e., someone with whom I have pretty regular communications. It would've been alright if she found the site and told me that she found it and would be visiting and asked if that was alright.

Actually, I had evidence that she had likely breached the flog a while ago. It would have been alright if she regularly or even only once-in-a-while emailed me regarding things I had posted. But as it was, I posted a picture that was meant to get attention from people who knew me (tattoo pics) and she took the bait, and only then did I know she was stalking. Or monitoring.

Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe she was using my instigation as an opportunity to let me know she was visiting, and I'm using it against her. Maybe I'm still disgruntled that she told me not to post pictures of her daughter (on a blog I know she breached, and from where she likely found this flog), which is totally within her rights to do, and it was totally in her rights to be offended by my posting her daughter's pics without getting permission first!

Hm, maybe I should re-consider and start anew and tell her about the new flog. And the only difference would be that I told her about the site – I controlled her access.

The singer of the band I'm in found one of my blogs, too, and I'm still trying to assess the damage. After the sister-in-law incident, I cut most of the links of my sites to each other. But this guy is savvy, and I don't know how deep he might have gotten. This site is probably safe.

Although his finding some of my web presences is fair. And he told me. I'm just more paranoid now. All I want people to know about me is that I killed myself, but I would prefer they knew it after the fact. Otherwise people get nutty and jump to conclusions or think they can do something about it fuckall.

I never found out how Josephine found my fotolog before she disappeared. She disappeared once after first contacting me, then she reappeared, seeming like she wanted to stay in contact and even started posting her own photos. Maybe she didn't like the slow pace at which I was willing to re-acquaint. I was willing to get re-acquainted, but I wasn't going to rush anything. And for me, at least, her second disappearance was affirmation, and if she reappeared again, I would issue an ultimatum – are you in or are you out? Or ignore it. No more games, please, unless it's by my rules.