2019 mix CDs

Yes indeedy, yet another addition to my vanity project of making a mix CD for every year I've been alive! And same as since 2012, it's a double-disc collection filled with K-pop! Yay! Of course there's no reason on multiple levels for doing this. There's no reason for most of my life, what's your point? The CD medium itself is an artificial and/or obsolete construct. Who even uses CDs anymore? (oh yeah, me) But for me the physical limit is important (if allowing for a second CD can be called "limiting"), as is the concept of a "collection" with track order, segues and flow and contours. Who even thinks that way anymore? (oh yeah, me)

What a long, strange trip it's been in just these mix CDs. The extreme left turn that is K-pop so late in my life still confounds me to the point that I still can't dismiss mystical attribution of future life resonance – that my next life will be in Korea. FLR might also be why I'm primarily attracted to girl groups, whereas if it was just about the music genre I should be equally accepting of the boy groups. I'm drawing analogies with passages in the so-called Tibetan Book of the Dead that describe the bardo of rebirth whereby individuals that are to be reborn as male will feel jealousy towards the father and attraction to the mother and vice versa for females (that's just the basic template while, as my theory goes, genetics also play a part; the gender-"determining" experience in the bardo primarily affects subjective identity and may influence physically being born one gender or another (or yet another these days) but can't counter genetics dictating otherwise. It explains a lot if you think about it). So the Korean thing may be a resonance as to where I'm to be reborn, while the focus on the female may be sticking with current karma that I'll be born male (getting XX chromosomes notwithstanding). What the hell am I talking about?

Back on planet earth I've tried to explain the K-pop in other ways – that it's about songwriting, really good melodies, tight backing-track arrangements, the progressions, the gestalt and other musical/production attributes – but I feel like I'm trying to legitimize something that doesn't need legitimizing. I've always trusted my musical tastes and rarely have I made the blunder of thinking something was good only to realize there really wasn't much substance (mostly when I was trying too hard). But I suppose maybe none of this matters if it's future life resonance at play. It's no longer my musical tastes in this lifetime, but echoes from a future that hasn't happened yet or is supposed to be happening if I had kept to script and departed for that life long ago. My music listening has been hijacked. And I've mentioned before that the Korean thing is the future life resonance, not K-pop. The K-pop is because of love of music in this current life. In future lifetimes I may not be interested in music at all. Theoretically, if I had some other strong interest, it would be some other aspect of Korea that would be inexplicably manifesting.

I wonder what I would've been listening to for the past decade if K-pop hadn't happened. Anything good coming out of the west aside from Hamilton? I haven't noticed anything. I wouldn't need anything new since all the music I acquired in those hard-drive exchanges in 2009-2010 may have taken 10 years to get familiar with; as I mentioned, it's good stuff, I like it, but I frustratingly just don't know it. 

*sigh* Music show video clips from 2019 still had live audiences. Because of the CCP pandemic, there have been no audiences for the music shows in 2020 and there's a palpable difference in energy without the screaming audiences and fanchants. 

Disc One: (zip download)

1. All Mine (Coast of Azure) (GWSN) (choreo video)
2. Bing Bing (Nature)
3. Uh-Oh ((g)I-dle)
4. Umpah Umpah (Red Velvet)
5. Tiki-Taka (99%) (Weki Meki)
6. Butterfly (LOOΠΔ) (music video) (choreo vid)
7. %% Eung Eung (Apink)
8. One Blue Night (Jiyeon (ex-T-ara)) (lyric video) (audio only)
9. Sunrise (Gfriend)
10. Bbyong (Saturday) (choreo vid)
11. Well Come to the BOM (Berry Good) (official audio)
12. Kill You (Hot Place) (lyric video) (audio only)
13. Hip (Mamamoo)
14. Dalla Dalla (ITZY)
15. How You Doin'? (EXID) (lyric video) (official audio)
16. Lalalay (Sunmi (ex-Wonder Girls))
17. 1, 2 (Lee Hi) (unofficial upload) (lyric video)
18. 5 More Minutes (DIA)
19. Sugar Pop (Cosmic Girls (WJSN)) (lyric video) (music students react)
20. Turn It Up (Twice) (lyric video) (official audio)
21. yeah yeah (Kisum) (audio only)
22. Guerilla (Oh My Girl)
23. This Winter (Berry Good)

Disc Two:
1. Picky Picky (Weki Meki)
2. Woowa (DIA)
3. Devil (CLC)
4. Thumbs Up (Momoland) (choreo video)
5. Hakuna Matata (DreamNote) (choreo video)

6. Late Autumn (Heize) (lyric video) (official audio)

7. Hush (Everglow) (lyric video) (official audio)

8. Underwater Love (Oh My Girl) (lyric video) (official audio)

9. Kkili Kkili (G-reyish)
10. Fever (Gfriend) (choreo video)

11. Boogie Up (Cosmic Girls (WJSN)) (full-stage fancam)

12. You Don't Know Me (Yoomin (ex-Melody Day)) (audio only)

13. New Day (Ladies' Code) (lyric video) (audio only)
14. Hocus Pocus (Bvndit)
15. Fancy (Twice)
16. Lion ((g)I-dle)
17. XX (Bolbbalgan4) (lyric video) (official audio)
18. Moonlight (Lovelyz)
19. Goblin (Sulli (ex-f(x)))
20. Recipe ~ For Simon (GWSN) (lyric video) (official audio)
21. LP (Red Velvet) (lyric video) (official audio)
22. Memories (Apink) (lyric video) (official audio)
23. Love RumPumPum (fromis_9) (unofficial stage mix)
24. Ruddy (Cherry Bullet) (official audio)

2018 mix CDs

Two groups that I can say I finally got into are Apink and Gfriend (just coincidence that both their names are a letter followed by a word, only Apink is pronounced in Korea the way it looks in English; the Korean for Gfriend is totally different). Both groups have been around for a while (about 10 and five years, respectively) and have extensive international and domestic fan bases. I always watched them whenever they promoted a new song, but they just never did it for me musically. Both released songs in 2019 that were undeniable and I'm glad they finally hooked me. Not that I'll go into their years-long back catalog to see if there are any gems I missed; if their past promoted songs didn't pull me in I'll just leave it at that. Gems like Apink's second song on Disc 2, a b-side ballad. The song was an earworm that would get in my head when I went out on rides in early 2019 and it took several weeks before I nailed down what it was (it was specifically the bridge section). I figure if it was that much of an earworm, it deserved a place on the mixes.

I blame it on age that I'm more susceptible to ballads; sentimentality perhaps not unsimilar to how people identify with cheesy pop songs when they're going through break-ups. Ex-T-ara member Jiyeon's ballad on Disc 1 was an automatic inclusion on these mixes. Pretty much the first time I heard the chorus was a gut-punch to "the feels", as kids today say. I'm pretty sure my reaction was 'oh my god!'. If I'd written a melody like that I'd be pretty damn proud of myself.  

GWSN, whose Korean name is translated as Girls in the Park, hasn't been around quite as long, but I also got into them. I don't think even international fans call them by the English name (maybe too close of an image to Girls on the Street Corner? What exactly are they doing in the park? Taking drugs? Dealing? Swing dance?). Maybe they do, I don't know what fans do. They were hyped when they debuted and I gave them a chance, but their first several releases didn't do it for me and I was resigned to not liking them. Their 2019 main promotion, Red Sun, was decent enough to get into them, but I bypassed that song and included two b-sides I thought were better. One was a secondary promotion that hooked me enough to open Disc 1. Turns out the entire EP is solid and makes me wonder if I've missed any gems from previous releases. The second song on disc 2 is named after one of the member's cat and follows Sulli's Goblin, which was the name of her cat. I didn't know that until after Sulli's death and the fate of her cat was apparently newsworthy (it has a permanent home now). Putting them together wasn't on purpose. 

Some odd-ball, underdog tracks by groups with uncertain futures are the Saturday, the Hot Place and the G-reyish. Saturday seem on their way to becoming one of those underrated groups that reach a level of competence and definite appeal, but never catch the mainstream's favor. The Hot Place track isn't the one they promoted but is so hilariously schizophrenic and melodramatic that I couldn't resist. Nothing has been heard from them since and I don't know if they have a future, which sucks. G-reyish have already had a few releases that never hooked me, and even though they finally got me, I don't think it was successful and they probably can't go on much longer. Groups from smaller agencies have limited resources and funds and if the group can't sustain themselves, they unfortunately go under. 

Notable rookie groups are Itzy (stylized ITZY), Everglow and Bvndit (stylized BVNDIT). Itzy were hyped pretty heavily as the new JYP girl group and I think they delivered on the anticipation with an energetic and catchy debut stage. Everglow's debut also impressed, but the song I chose isn't representative of their sound. I tried to include their debut track but it didn't work and I ultimately chose a more melodic ditty. Bvndit is supposedly pronounced 'bandit', but I have trouble ignoring the 'v' and in my head it's 'b'vundit' or B-V-N-dit. They didn't blow me away, but were notably good with a mature, confident image and quality songs, choreo and performances. "Hocus Pocus" was their debut track and wasn't an immediate choice for the mix, but rather a realization that it was the best candidate after deciding they were a worthy group.

I suppose the 2019 girl group event of the season was a TV program called Queendom that was a surprise hit. The concept was to have several girl groups compete against each other in various challenges and the winner . . . whatever, the winner ended up not mattering so much as fans and the groups themselves didn't seem to pay much attention to the idea of "competition" and focused on showcasing themselves and their performances. The competition aspect facially was more of a running joke and their interactions were more of a mutual admiration society with little controversy or negativity. One rule was that a group would be eliminated if it came in last two weeks in a row, so it did become serious for the group that came in last on any given week, but the nature of the rule also allowed for no group to be eliminated, and that came to pass. No one wanted anyone to go home.  

All of the groups have been included in past mixes: AOA, Mamamoo, Lovelyz, Oh My Girl, (g)I-dle and soloist Park Bom who was in 2NE1. AOA was the veteran group in dubious decline having lost their main vocalist, Choa, who quit in 2017 but were still viable and fighting for their careers (unfortunate circumstances of their own doing befell them in 2020; they ded). Mamamoo were the current top group of the bunch and presumed winners, and so came to pass because it was basically a popularity contest. Lovelyz were the underdogs. Oh My Girl were the newly popular girl group as audiences and their peers have been tuning into them. (g)I-dle (nevermind how to pronounce that, I just call them "gidle" to myself) were the monster rookies. Park Bom was the odd girl out in the field of groups, but as the scandal-ridden, arguably washed-up main vocalist of 2NE1 is still considered K-pop royalty, legend in herself. Still lovable with a sympathy card (stamped and addressed) in her favor.

The show was a hit because every week delivered different concepts, surprises and great performances. One highlight for me was the week they were doing covers and veterans AOA went head-to-head with top group Mamamoo, covering each other. While both performances were highly entertaining, for my money AOA blew Mamamoo out of the water. It was funny when they showed Mamamoo trying to decide which AOA song to cover because it turns out many of AOA's best songs were out of the range of vocal powerhouse Mamamoo😲! The songs they initially considered were with Choa as main vocalist and she just sang above Mamamoo's range. They finally found a song in their range and their rendition did what Mamamoo does well, spotlighting each member individually as a concept, changing genres between verses; very respectable as expected. AOA chose a Mamamoo song that didn't make it onto my mixes the year it was released, but I seriously considered the AOA version for 2019. It kicked ass from the start and just kept building and included a shock factor into a raucous climax. It made Mamamoo's cover seem unfocused. I'm not going to go so far as saying AOA's cover is better than the original, though, just that their Queendom performance is fairly judged better than Mamamoo's. 

Another covers week highlight was Oh My Girl covering Lovelyz's Destiny. I think AOA's Hyejeong sums it up when she asks, "Is the original song this sad?". Shots of Lovelyz member Mijoo looking like she's about to cry because maybe she didn't realize their own song could be so emotionally rendered. The song is from before I got into Lovelyz and I did what I think many people did after this performance and looked up the original. To the credit of the comments section, no one said Oh My Girl's version was better, that would've just been rude and unfair. For the original, Lovelyz were given the song to perform and they were just doing their job. Oh My Girl had the luxury to re-interpret the song and bring out qualities that weren't in the original.

Like I said, Lovelyz were the underdog in the competition and had the most to prove and to lose, and to their credit they took the most risks. For covers week, they didn't cover Oh My Girl, but did Brown Eyed Girls' Sixth Sense (which is on my 2011 mix). That doesn't even work on paper. Brown Eyed Girls were a top vocal group long before Mamamoo and owned every concept they tackled. BEG defined attitude, confidence and ferocity; Lovelyz even by their name, not so much. To their credit, they didn't fall flat on their faces and they didn't (or couldn't) try to match Brown Eyed Girls' charisma or copy the most challenging parts of the song but did show what they were capable of. Mad props to them for even doing it. That took bawls.

Another week where I think Lovelyz shone was on song remake week when groups remade one of their own songs. Lovelyz went the furthest out on a limb when they remade their song Cameo in a high school musical style. For me, they won that week for challenging themselves the most and delivering a fun performance. Everyone else did renditions of their own songs that were competent but weren't so drastic or challenging. I was particularly disappointed by Oh My Girl's remake of their b-side Twilight. The song is on my 2018 mix and the showcase video they posted is the benchmark perfection for that song. They didn't change the backing track enough, if at all, and as a result didn't come close to satisfying my anticipation. 

For the finale, the groups staged new songs that would be actual releases and the outcome of the show was determined by how well the songs did along with points won throughout the competition, I think. I didn't really pay attention to that aspect of the show. Three of the finale songs (g(I)-dle's Lion, Oh My Girl's Guerilla and Lovelyz's Moonlight) made it onto my 2019 mixes. Mamamoo won, but I think that was outshone by how incredible everyone did on the show. As for finale performances, I think g(I)-dle's was the best. Extra points for not only being the only song written by one of the show's participants, leader and rapper Soyeon (who actually appeared on my 2016 mix as a soloist, also from a competition show Unpretty Rapstar), but it was also a song with the theme of the show in mind. And I can't help but mention the piercing line she wrote for Minnie that stunned me in my earbuds, I think my eyes actually dilated when she hit that phrase of notes as the music drops out from underneath. It was like, I had no idea she had notes like that in her. 

AOA and Mamamoo had decent finales but the songs weren't exceptional. Off the top of my head, I'm struggling to recall Mamamoo's performance without looking it up. AOA's performance was made amazing by an action movie-style "dance" break by member Chanmi that had her go aerial which thrilled and delighted the audience. I think she actually went through some martial arts training for that. 

As for AOA in 2020, they got slammed by accusations of bullying by former member Mina who quit in 2018. Specifically, leader and rapper Jimin was targeted with some of the others in various levels of collusion. Nothing she said implicated former member Choa, and there were rumors sparked whether Jimin's behavior led to Choa's departure. 

For me, to this day there are a lot of unknowns and suspicions. The public seems to have taken Mina at her word, her story revealed in a series of emotional Instagram posts. I don't disbelieve Mina, but I'm suspicious of how what she said was taken so quickly as fact by the judging public. Also curious is how swift the results were. Within days Jimin announced she had withdrawn from the group and was exiting the industry. She rolled over without a fight and people took that as an admission of guilt. AOA is pretty much finished. Without clarification of the issue, it's not something they can recover from. 

On one hand, Mina (truth to tell a minor underdog member that I supported just because she was the underdog) single-handedly took down her former queen-bee group through Instagram posts. On the other hand, if all she said was true, then they brought it upon themselves for not standing up to Jimin and protecting Mina all those years. But the public never looked at Mina's posts critically, separating accusations of actual incidents of bullying from how Mina felt about how she was treated. I'm not blaming the victim, but there were instances so egregious that should have made people wonder how Mina could have taken and suffered what she accuses Jimin of. Like blaming Jimin for not being able to see her dying father in his last days? As tear-jerking the accusation is, that's on Mina regardless of what duress she was feeling. If your father's dying, you have the right to say FUCK YOU to everyone who might even suggest you shouldn't go see him because of responsibilities to the group. No one wouldn't have sided with her, their agency's shit CEO probably would've sided with her, and if she didn't go see her father who she reports was even asking for her, I'm sorry but that's on her. That's not something you can blame someone else for.

That's all speculation. We don't have facts and it can go either way depending on details. But one thing Mina let known is that she had dirt on Jimin (and possibly other members). She revealed almost like a teaser that Jimin had brought men back to AOA's dorm to have sex, which would have been a scandal in itself that Jimin would never be able to live down, and was only overshadowed by these over-arching bullying accusations. And Jimin bringing men back to the dorm has nothing to do with bullying, so bringing it up suggests ulterior reasons. Jimin may have rolled over not as an admission of guilt, but because she didn't want any more dirt to be disclosed. What Mina had on her may have been much worse than needing to defend herself and clarify any specific incidents.

It's another K-pop scandal where the truth may never come out. I initially had two AOA tracks on these mixes, but removed them only because they might always remind me of this mess, and not because of any judgment regarding Mina's accusations or the character of other AOA members. On principle I wouldn't have removed their music because of rumors or scandals unless they were clear and egregious. 

I generally believe that Mina underwent extreme mental and emotional hardships caused by Jimin and sympathize with her and hope she gets the treatment she seems to need to heal and readjust from the experience, but from a societal impact point of view, I don't think enough was done to separate how she felt bullied and what Jimin did that was actual bullying. That's actually important because every few weeks there are accusations of bullying against celebrities and they aren't always credible. If there is a lack of critical consideration such as there was with Mina's accusations, then a lot of careers could be needlessly taken down. Mina's testimony may have been totally accurate and AOA may have deserved to be taken down, but as it was I don't think there was enough thought and discussion to justify the end of AOA and the other members' careers.

2019 songs that didn't make the mix despite being main promotions by major acts:

Feel Special (Twice)

La La Love (WJSN (Cosmic Girls))

As You Wish (WJSN)

Blueming (IU)

Psycho (Red Velvet)

gogobebe (Mamamoo)

Room Shaker (Ailee)

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