Drat. I went for my medical exam last week to apply for a Taiwanese ID card, and got my results back a few days ago. No tumor. Everything checks out. Pass.

I know I didn't have AIDS/HIV, nor any poop in my parasites (switch that, it just sounds better this way), nothing showed in the blood test, and chest X-ray was clear of tuberculosis. And tumorculosis. I'm making up words now.

My gut still feels all wrong, sit-ups are still hard, and I had hiccups the day I went for the exam, and I had them yesterday again for about 24 hours, so they're definitely occurring with frighteningly greater frequency. Frightening, more because they tend to piss me off and wear me down, rather than because of any medical or health reasons.

So as to the question of what would I have done if it turned out to be a tumor will remain unanswered, as will the question of who I would have told. In a thought exercise, the short list turns out to be pretty darn short.

Who would have been worth telling? There are people who deserve to know, but would they be worth telling? I lean towards the no.

Obviously none of the superficial contacts I have in Taipei, including Hyun Ae. I have one language exchange partner, but I think that's just an excuse to hang out, since she's not really serious about improving or maintaining her English. She might be a friend, and she I would tell eventually, but not right away. I wouldn't just disappear, like with the other people. I have another language exchange partner who is serious and is actually my previous Mandarin teacher, the best one I've had, but I wouldn't tell her. I would just phase out our meetings.

The band I would tell and probably quit, but I would offer to remain until they got a replacement up to speed so that they didn't miss any paying gigs, but they would probably reject that option.

If I stick with a job I'm starting next week on a trial basis – part-time position with an English language newspaper, which has wonky hours because of deadline and probably a low retention rate – I wouldn't tell. I'd just quit when I finally couldn't do it anymore. Or I would probably just quit. The point being I wouldn't feel like I owed them anything, like I do with the band. Not that I like being in this band, I just have a higher respect for musicians, what they do, and the pressures they deal with.

I don't know about my uncle and aunt in Kaohsiung. They deserve to know, but there are too many other factors that make me lean towards not telling them until late. If I told them, then everyone would know, and they'd all fuss and hassle and treat me in a normative way, and I'm in no way normative. They wouldn't understand that I would think it was the best thing ever happened.

Cousins Audrey and 姿慧? I project that Audrey doesn’t deserve to know, but knowing our relationship, if it were reality, it's in the realm of possibility that she might be the only one I end up telling, depending on circumstances. She does know me well enough that I can bully her into not telling anyone. 姿慧 I don’t know well enough, she’s just not that close.

Parents, brothers? Good god no. Why wouldn't I just kill myself first rather than go through that uncomfortable mess of how they might react. I just want to be left alone, and that I know they don't understand.

And blog? Blog would be the first to know.

TUESDAY, MARCH 11, 3:44 p.m. - Cow Elvis tableaux at a restaurant on Roosevelt Road. 

SUNDAY, MARCH 16 - Construction in Xinyi District. Pentax ZX-5n, Ilford XP2 Super.

MONDAY, MARCH 17 - Hike up Elephant Mountain..

3:36-4:57 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19, 4:54 p.m. - Maokong Gondola.

5:03-5:07 p.m. - from Maokong.

THURSDAY, MARCH 20, 11:34 a.m. - I'm not so much into nature photography, but some people like it.

MARCH 22 - Kaohsiung. Election day voting at a Jhongsiao Municipal Elementary School not far from my uncle's building.

Room at the residence where my father grew up.

11:51 a.m.-12:07 p.m. - Portraits of my father's side of the family. The only person I recognize is my father's older brother at the right in the top photo. I met him in 1980 shortly before he died. He was in a wheelchair and mentally debilitated, as I remember. His portrait was obviously rendered at a different time from the other paintings, one of which might represent a great-grandparent. Someone knows, I don't. I can't even identify my father in the bottom photo, such is his mystery.

8:29 p.m. - My parents footed the bill for a family banquet. My grandfather had five children and members of all five families are represented here. 

8:32 p.m. - The kids getting their picture taken and Sunny looks at me.