So I had a bad 3 weeks in New Jersey where my intolerance of my parents re-emerged. I did my best to keep a lid on it and not express my impatience, but I don't think I could keep a rude attitude from seeping out.
Parents are getting old, it's definitely showing, they're going to die eventually, as everyone does, and I showed no sympathy or appreciation for this fact.
And I have no regrets about it.
I didn't make any special effort to connect with nephews and nieces, and I made no effort to connect with my brother in Philly. In fact, since I visited last July, I've had zero contact with him until now; didn't even call him when I got back, and only saw him because my parents drove down to see them. Nothing bad, no bad blood, just no connection; no effort. Either way.
I have no job. Eva did eventually call me, but I made no overtures or hints towards returning or wanting to return, and she took the lack of hint. I can't believe work was all it was for the past near-year. It became such a ridiculous place to work.
The newspaper's main competitor is looking for copy editors. Not that they would be impressed with my credentials, but I'm refraining from applying. Why try? I won't go back to work until I find a reason to live for – and not just survive.
I need to re-tool this blog, too, to get to my own truths.
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| WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 4:39 p.m. - Sanmin Rd. approaching Jiankang Rd. |
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| THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 4:27 p.m. - Neighborhood shots. |
