Every train of thought still is that I'm done with this life, but that's the way it has been for the past countless years, so what's different now? Why not keep slogging it through like I have for the past countless years? Something's different, but I've been saying that all through the past countless years.
Whatever, I'm not concerned anymore about justifications. I don't need to defend any decision I make.
It's nice not working, much more peaceful piece of mind.
The weather's showing peeks of warmer and drier days and I'm wanting to run or ride. Although without work, it's harder because I don't have a drying out period. I basically start drinking second thing in the morning, after 45 minutes of quiet sitting.
Yesterday I decided not to take out my road bike, but got on my street/commuter bike and went on an extended (for a street bike) ride on the bikeways to feel out my fitness. I do have to build up.
Today I studied in a cafe and otherwise floated through my life.
I think the difference is just time. Water under the bridge. As time goes by, if something is inevitable, the inevitable just gets closer. Whether it's fact that one day you're going to commit suicide, or if you live to a hundred and die in your sleep. I can deal with that.
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| Taipei Museum of Fine Art - Rainbow V 22mm lens toy camera, Ilford XP2 Super. |
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| 1:40 p.m. - Photostitch of the new pedestrian bridge over the canal along the Keelung River. |
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| 1:42 p.m. - Keelung River photostitch. |
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| 1:43 p.m. - Calm Keelung River. |
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| FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 5:46 a.m. - Stepping out during a night of hanging out at a bar with acquaintances. Evidence of being social. |
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| SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 5:47 a.m. - More (and better) evidence of being social. Inside the bar. |
