Tibet trip done and documented with nearly every damn detail; the two weeks waiting between the end of the Tibet trip and my parents' arrival was eased when my aunt called asking me to take her place on a bus tour of Taiwan's east coast with my uncle. She recently had surgery on her foot and couldn't go.

I agreed only because I wasn't thinking. Well, I was thinking that I had been thinking of going on a solo trip down the east coast, and that even though this was another package tour with a fixed schedule, the kind made for older folk and people who are lazy about traveling, it would at least give me the opportunity to scope things out and see where I could go on a solo excursion.

Where I wasn't thinking was that I had gone on one of these tour bus packages before with my aunt a couple of years ago (taking the place of my uncle that time who couldn't go), and I think I must have thought afterwards, "Never again".

Again.

I don't know if I had written about the previous bus tour in central Taiwan, but if I did, I wish I had re-read that entry before going on this tour, which was only 3 days, which didn't seem like a lot compared to 10 days in Tibet.

If I had to do the ordeal of 10 days in Tibet over again or the 3 days on the east coast of Taiwan, I would easily choose the 10 days in Tibet again. At least on that trip, everyone left me alone and I could listen to my iPod in peace.

Tour bus package in Taiwan means on-board karaoke, so there was no retreating to the comfort of my iPod as karaoke volumes are preventive. And there was my clueless, nagging uncle, who thinking I was bored or lonely tried to get other people, who knew as little English as he does, if that's possible, to talk to me.

I always try to be at least polite, but I had no problem being rude to these people and blowing them off, as I knew their efforts were coerced and artifice, and ultimately patronizing. I have no more patience for small talk with older people who don't speak English and mean nothing to me.

After those three days, we got back to Kaohsiung, and despite my uncle telling my aunt that I wasn't happy, I told her the trip was pretty cool, because I love my aunt and I didn't want her to feel bad if I had a bad experience, and she'll believe me before she believes her doofus husband. I did insist, however, on leaving immediately to return to Taipei, which I had determined on the trip because I just had to get away.

Then my parents visited the following week, also a bit of a disaster. But that was, at least, expected.

OK, it wasn't a disaster. It just wasn't anything.

What I didn't expect was that they had gotten a reference for a fortune teller in Taipei and I helped them go to him because, well, I didn't care, whatever they wanted to do, I'd help them. But they ended up getting my fortune told and I guess the guy actually did me a favor by putting them on notice, indicating that something was seriously wrong.

Now, I don't have a firm stance on fortune tellers. This blog started with an impromptu street fortune telling. I don't discount them in a wholesale way, but I'm highly suspicious of them. I do think there is some sort of science about what many of these people do, but I also think there are some people who really do have insight into the workings of things that aren't apparent.

Apparently this guy was totally accurate about me, but mind you everything was in Taiwanese, I didn't hear anything directly from him, but only through the filter of my parents, who don't know me nearly as much as they think they do – they're delusional like that, they also think their English is better than it is, so that's another filter.

However, among all the "accurate" things he said, I didn't hear that he said anything about alcohol, and that's a big strike against him. Even my chiropractor in San Francisco, who was certified in Chinese holistic practices, tactfully told me to avoid alcohol, which is a polite way of saying I drink too much. Someone supposedly clairvoyant and able to pick up all these details about me should be able to figure out what a major part of my life alcohol is.

Anyway, he conveniently put my parents on notice that something's wrong, so when something does go wrong, they'll be able to go back to what this fortune teller said and feel some sort of affirmation. It will, I'm pretty sure, make them feel better because in their world it would at least make sense. It won't be a complete surprise that they can't figure out. The fortune teller said so.

They didn't listen to me when I was asking for help for my sleeping problems two years ago (I never ask anyone in my family for help, that's how bad it was). It's in remission now, but because the fortune teller pointed it out, suddenly I have to go see a doctor, I have to go to therapy to deal with the sleeping problem, because a sleeping problem is such a big problem. I'm being sarcastic, yo.

My parents are coming again in December and I can probably make it that long I shouldn't wonder. Another attempt is still definite, though. These days are getting harder and harder in the moments, but I'm working on happiness meditations and stabilizing my mindset into positive or neutral spaces.

Reminding myself of the value of nothing whatsoever should be clung to, and that I don't believe in the substance of physical reality as it is. All things by nature are conditional and impermanent. And the value of my life, although great, has run its course as far as I can discern. And it's my discernment that is important, no one else's.

First frames of the last roll of black & white film photography. Nikon N70, Ilford XP2 Super.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2 - Xindian River bikeway near Gongguan approaching twilight on an overcast day.