Misery and distress continue with insomnia, inability to eat and gastrointestinal problems which have disrupted all aspects of my life. Fortunately, my life does not have many aspects to be significantly disrupted.

Last night was total insomnia. No sleep at all. You flip the light switch and nothing happens. Eventually I blacked out at about 7 in the morning and woke up with a few interruptions around noon. That's optimistically five hours solid as far as I'm concerned.

The eating issue has a simple solution: don't eat. I keep getting tempted to eat or feeling I need to eat, or even feeling hungry, and I fall for it and even if I nibble at morsels, it puts me in some kind of agonizing food coma for several hours.

Eating anything has been triggering the gastrointestinal issues. Again the solution is to not eat. And stay close to home, or even better don't even go out.

Exercising has been completely out. Especially after last week's incident, which I've been thinking was the result of the plod itself, and not incidental to trying to do something. It adds up. If you can't take in nutrition, any exertion is going to lead to distress.

It is miserable and distressing. It's only balanced out by the fact that I have no responsibilities to anything or anyone so there's no external stress. I don't have to be anywhere or do anything. If I feel I can't get out for the day, I don't have to explain myself to anyone. No one will even know.

If I can't eat, if I can't sleep, it affects no one, no one needs to know. There's a slight question for myself how much of this I can take. When the balance of misery and distress tips any mitigating factors that are keeping me alive, whatever that means.