I've been watching Sadhguru videos regularly since I discovered them in February, almost daily along with cat videos. He still hasn't said anything that has put me off and has said much more that I quite like. I avoid videos with titles that seem to have no meaning or relevance like what to name a child or about wearing black clothes. It's very possible the content contains just as much wisdom as other videos, but I'm a little scared, I suppose, that I'll come across him saying something truly brow-furrowing that I couldn't accept. 

I've already come across him telling jokes that weren't that funny which puts doubt on his spiritual advancedness. Granted he's a mystic, not a rabbi or a comedian (although I think maybe an inordinate amount of spiritual teachers are closet aspiring stand-ups). He's told funny jokes I've heard before. And one funny one I hadn't heard before about an actor doing Shakespeare. The punchline was: What do you expect from material this terrible?! That's a good punchline, the joke almost writes itself!

Not to toot my own horn, and although thinking or filtering things this way may be detrimental, I hear him mentioning things that resonate with things I've come up before on my own and I can't help but feel the teeniest, tiniest bit of affirmation. In no way do I think I'm advanced nor that I don't need a guru.

For instance a video that reminds me of my joy-generating meditations/exercises. Ironically the video is about "being joyful", but what resonated was when he takes a strange left turn and he's talking about "love". What he talks about doing with love is basically my joy-generating meditation, words substituted. Joy/Love that is the result of external circumstances is fleeting and will pass, but if joy can be generated within oneself just through concentration and realization that it's there and that it's always there, and not relying on external factors, that's not something anything or anyone can take away. I guess it works with love if that's the focus. I've interpreted Tibetan monks doing the same thing with compassion.

He also touches upon a musing I've blogged about regarding how much energy it takes to be social and an active participant in this world. It's exhausting compared to the relatively small amount of energy I expend just living a flawed, urban-hermit like existence. People don't notice how much energy it takes because it's just normal and even desirable for most people. You wouldn't notice it until you start withdrawing from society but then get thrust back into it by merely meeting up with an old acquaintance. But most wouldn't even like the withdrawing part that calms energies because of psychological hang-ups of being lonely or getting restless.

I've also mentioned long-term mindfulness practice as being effective in dealing  with mental health issues to varying degrees depending upon the individual. I have to be modest about it and can't speak for anyone else. For me, I found that when old mental health issues would arise, mindfulness practice would intervene like a gatekeeper. The mental health issue would announce itself like it had all the right in the world to be here, but then mindfulness practice would begin its withering interrogation of how's and why's and for what purpose? and what do you hope to accomplish? Eventually the mental health issue would reveal itself as a crutch that I wanted and had summoned, but was a failing in its unproductive, self-destructive nature and was unnecessary from a logical point of view (Suicide conveniently withstands the inquiry. Mindfulness practice arrives with its articles of inquisition and suicide begins presenting its case with "exhibit A:" and gestures palms extended at my entire life, and ends with "he's gonna die anyway". Mindfulness practice forgets about the droids and lets the boy go about his business). 

One concept he mentions that was completely new to me is that human beings are born with a certain amount of energy that must be exhausted before being able to "die well". That's why it's better not to die prematurely like in an accident or by suicide; one's natural energy hasn't dissipated. This is not a concept I've recognized in the so-called Tibetan Book of the Dead or in any of my Vajrayana readings (I may not have the spiritual aptitude to recognize it). Dying well with energies properly exhausted helps lead quickly to a good, natural rebirth. Dying with energy remaining requires that energy to still be dissipated before being reborn, which could take years or decades (or longer) in human time. 

I don't know what basis there is to believe in that, but . . . same goes with the Tibetan teachings. If you're not on board with Tibetan Buddhism there's no reason to believe in any of it, but I've already tentatively gotten on board with Sadhguru, so I can afford him some benefits of doubt. His mention of "better not die by suicide" is OK with me because it's in the same context as "better not die in a tragic accident". Like you can prevent that?! These aren't judgments, just assessments of dying without natural life energies being depleted. 

I suspect whatever he has to say about suicide would be in general discouraging, presumably regarding typical suicides and fair assumptions about them, and would not necessarily apply to me. What teachers say about suicide and how is often a litmus test for me and nothing he's said about suicide has been offensive or insulting. I still get a sense he knows what he's talking about even with blanket statements or assumptions. 

It very well may be that all my years of chronic suicidal ideation by nature have been dissipating my reserve of life energy. If you keep death that mindfully close to you, perhaps the energies are drained that much quicker than if you expend them doing worldly things, not at all aware of them. It may have been by instinct that I've failed in the past because they hadn't been drained sufficiently enough (I know I'm giving my instincts a lot of uncalled for credit here, emphasis on the 'may have been'). It may be that if Sadhguru were my teacher, he'd give me a sadhana to work on that suicide is forbidden and not an option. That I would have to take seriously. And maybe why he's not my teacher in this lifetime.

My Sadhguru playlist (videos that had particular resonance for me).