I had another odd dream that may suggest that my brothers and I have been siblings in past lives and that I may have been the eldest. The odd part is that instead of a random, unfamiliar setting, this dream was set in this lifetime during the 80s at my parents' house.

Of course, we had our established places at the dinner table. I came down to the dinner table as me, the youngest, and I sat at my oldest brother's place and started eating. Then realizing I was eating my oldest brother's dinner, I felt guilty, faux pas, and slightly panicked at what I should do.

Also interesting about the dream is that there was only one other dinner at the table, not two others. So even though the setting was familiar, it might have been a past life resonance of just two brothers and I was the older one. I was actually eating the right dinner.

My brothers, either one or the other or both, have been appearing in my dreams frequently as of late. Not necessarily with any specific impression that they have anything to do with past lives. However, just that they've been appearing in my dreams may suggest that these dreams may be past life resonances.

Of course, in this lifetime we have no particular affinity towards each other. We grew up fighting like dogs, and when the fighting stopped, the detente has mostly been only cordial, albeit kind and supportive when called for. Not much that can be called close. There has never been any going out of our way to meet up, nor any interaction just because we like each other. Truth to tell, I don't even know if we do.

It might support the suggestion that there is an aspect of karma that is out of our hands. Karmic attachments aren't necessarily a matter of choice, but a matter of course, driven by cause and effect. And in this case, if we are connected by karma, it's not necessarily positive karma. Negative karma often can connect people to each other. Even as little as habit can connect people by karma. Even if the habit is hating each other.

Other than that, something about my dreams I've started to notice, going back for quite a while, is that a subtle focus of a vast majority of them is a domestic scene; my residence, where I'm living. The characters change, the actual domiciles are totally different, and the action in the dreams vary widely, but on a subtle level, there is a focus on the living quarters.

There's always an awareness of the physical space, the rooms, the layout, the construction, the style, the decor. No opinion about them, just awareness of what they are. I'm not sure what to make of it. Maybe it's a reflection of the lack of home in my life.

I've never considered Taiwan home. Nor New Jersey, which if it was "home" when I was younger, it was always a hostile place. No people I consider home. I tried for home in San Francisco, but it was always undermined by dissatisfaction and the impulse towards suicide.