Molting. I feel like peeling my muscles out from under my skin.

I'm second guessing my motivation behind that stuff about service, which I highly doubt I will implement seeing as I'm a lame-ass and would rather kill myself than help other people or stop my negativity. I'm wondering how much is psychological, how much of the motivation is something I'm not aware of.

I close my eyes, breathe, and the world goes on around me when I'm not here.

My body is a huge space. When I die, images will emerge into this space. I will remember everything. I will know things that I didn't know. And the relevance will all depend on what I'm able to cultivate while I'm in this living life part of the life-death cycle.

Outside of this huge space is the illusory world, projections like light and shadow in a movie theater. Manifestation of something called pristine cognition, pure consciousness. Appearances are a distillation of it, wisps and vapors.

I can do as I please with this space and this world. Who will be affected? Let's see how far I can throw a rock.