I experience people in this city, life in this city, and I'm astounded by how rude people are in this city. Then I realize if anyone, I'm the rude one. I'm the asshole. How did I become such an asshole?

Am I such an asshole because I'm alone, or am I alone because I'm such an asshole?

Is it a matter of nature or nurture? If it's nurture, then I'm a rude asshole because of my upbringing; the result of my parents' poor parenting. I don't buy that. My parents were shit parents, but I don't put what I am on their heads. I could've risen above it. Their shit parenthood only reflects what shit parents they were. Not my decisions.

So nature – nature of an asshole – what does that even mean? From a Buddhist perspective, I think nature (personal, not "primordial") is about karma, what has been spiritually inherited; habitually practiced and inculcated until transferred from one lifetime to the next.

So what about my nature, my karma, has made me such an asshole? Is it my self-imposed social isolation but with access to internet and media that has rendered me so self-absorbed that I no longer have any connection or empathy, ergo a sociopathic asshole?

It's probably just how I feel. I may even be exaggerating. It very well may be likely that no one even takes notice of me and my dark clouds at all.