Saturday, January 25, 2003

The muscles in my left leg have been killing for the past two days. I thought they were just sore after I got locked in the wrong stairwell at work and walked up and down 12 flights of stairs. But it doesn't add up.

This isn't like a stiff soreness of the first time running in the Spring after taking the Winter off. And considering I've still been riding my bike, a light exercise of walking up and down stairs should not have brought about this disproportionate degree of soreness.

No, this is more a tight, sharp soreness, like a blunt force impact. A hard blunt force impact. And most strangely, it's only my left leg, pretty much the entire calf is tight and sore, and a large part of my thigh. Outer thigh. This was not caused by walking up and down 12 flights of stairs.

Would anyone believe if this is related to my accident last month (the SUV hit me on the left side), after which I was totally fine and healthy aside from a few cuts and visible bruises, and was back on my bike the next day?

Is it possible that Armeen nailed it on the head that my psychic reaction was related to control issues? But that the control issues go so deep and profound that my body absorbed the impact and the damage and held it latent in my muscles? Until a good brisk walk up and down 12 flights of stairs (13 really, I was in the basement) was rigorous enough to unleash it? Did I mention that I come from a family of medical doctors? They won't be introducing me to any of their friends in the near future.

Armeen nailed the control issue knowing nothing about my past except for what's posted here, but it's nothing new. I can list past and present behaviors which boiled down to their roots find control seeds germinated. Drinking, for example, started with control, not to lose it, but to maintain it. And suicide, of course, is the ultimate control. Always has been.

An aggressive regimen of Bengay and heating seems to be taking care of this, and it should be gone by tomorrow, and shouldn't stop me from going for a ride today.