I got a great phonecall from my mother the other day. She called to tell me that the monastery will want to send me to "religion school", and if they do, I should insist on paying for it myself, or if they offered me a scholarship, I should refuse it and say that I'll pay for it myself.

I frankly told her that there were no plans to send me to "religion school", and then she clarified it and she meant the monastic training in France. Her little delusion of a mythical "religion school" was pretty amusing, but her calling the aspirant training "religion school" is equally amusing.

She went on to explain that if I let them pay for it, they would have control over me and they would send me anywhere they wanted to. So I should not let them pay for anything and my parents would cover any expenses.

I didn't tell her that, even if her little scenario had any basis in truth, I would prefer to be controlled by the monastery for having paid my way, than having my parents control me for having paid my way.

The monastery does, in fact, cover travel expenses for aspirants, no strings attached if we decide against the monastic path, but I'm thinking of letting my parents cover my flight to France. If they want to be idiots about it, let them pay for it. Oops, eyes of compassion, eyes of compassion. Learn to look at parents through eyes of compassion.

Whenever I try to look at my parents through the eyes of compassion, it turns into eyes of pity and disdain.