Hi Audrey,
I hope this is your email address. It was good talking to you this past time, it felt like we were mutually connecting better than we have in a long time.

I just want to let you know that I support you in eventually getting back to being vegetarian. It's most important to understand or be mindful about why be vegetarian or not, the cycle of life, the creation and destruction, but being vegetarian is a worthy goal to strive for.

The basic energy of life that is in plants, I think, is the same energy of life in so-called "sentient beings". Separating compassion towards sentient beings and vegetable beings is dangerous. After all, even the Chinese language has adopted the Western word for human beings who have a limited range of sentient being mental activity - 植物人 - vegetables.

Buddhists who are vegetarian and think they are so great because of it because they are doing less "harm", I think is good, but need to develop their perspective more.

I tell myself one of the practical reasons I eat meat is for "health" reasons. I think I told you before that a Western/Chinese doctor in San Francisco told me I had to eat more red meat for protein for my health. I asked if tofu and fish weren't enough and she said, "no, red meat".

That was a long time ago, and this might just be an excuse, and maybe I should just admit, like you, that I just like it!, but as long as I'm running or riding, I think I do need to be eating meat. And I am definitely convinced that the Chinese vegetarian diet (even Western) can't support high performance physical activities.

BUT, even though I keep making a note to get out and run or ride once the weather gets better, the weather isn't getting better, and I haven't been running or riding regularly since the Autumn. So in this down season, I think I should support you eventually getting back to vegetarianism, by also, as much as possible, opting for not eating meat. When I have the choice, when I really think about it, I will think of you eventually getting back to it, and choose a vegetarian option.

I think it must be very difficult for you to maintain an effective, regular practice in your situation. This isn't advice or a recommendation, just something to think about.

If I didn't know you at all, I would encourage someone to stick to the basics, and don't get too much into sophisticated meditations. Instead, focus on something basic, but also important and effective, like the Eightfold path and what it is and what it means, and trying to actively practice that.

I don't even stick to the 8 things the Buddha taught, and I created my own list to fit what I think I need to work on. I even changed the English translation because when I read "right thinking, right intention, etc.", it implies there is a "wrong", and the actual word in Pali, I read, actually means something like "complete", or "perfect".

I've settled for "mindful", something to strive for. So maybe that is something you can apply to your daily practice, each day try to focus on one, and ask yourself why. Like speech, what you say. All day whatever you say, you check if it's what you really want to say, and that it promotes something related to the dharma.

In your case, the dharma you want to promote is the happiness and well-being of the people around you. Know that what you say will affect other people's happiness and well-being, and if it affects other people's happiness and well-being, it also affects yours. When you say something, does saying it promote your own happiness and well-being, because your happiness and well-being is essential to promote the happiness and well-being of the people around you.

Each day you do something like that for all 8 "paths". Figuring out what we need to work on, the paths, is hard because oftentimes our pride and ego get in the way. But if that's the case, then we can just fall back on the 8-fold path the Buddha recommended to work on. And by telling you this, I'm not saying I'm anywhere near succeeding in "perfecting" any of them. But we have to try and keep them in mind, because only then can we effect our future karma.

take care, and much love, always if not obvious,
koji