Diary of an insomniac

Last night, I got 4 hours of sleep from 5 a.m. to 9 a.m., when I woke up for the first time. But after that, albeit repeatedly disrupted I don't know how many times, I think I was able to fall asleep repeatedly until 12:45 p.m. That's the least I can hope for to consider a good night's sleep.

The previous two nights, I got 3 hours of sleep, and then afterwards tossed and turned in a twilight where I clearly wasn't asleep, but wasn't so restless that I just gave up and got up, sacrificing any hope for rest. Those twilight periods could last up to 3 hours.

I don't know what those twilight periods are or whether I'm getting any rest in them. What I would do after an initial phase of not falling back to sleep is put on a CD on timer to turn off in about 30 minutes. If I wasn't back to sleep in 30 minutes, I would just get up.

But after 30 minutes, listening to the full contents of the 30 minutes, I would hear the timer shut off the CD player and I wouldn't be asleep, but sometimes I would neither get up nor re-set the timer for another 30 minutes. I don't remember falling asleep, but there would be periods in the 3 hours that I remember going into REM dream sleep. Just snippets of dreams, but close enough to consciousness for me to remember that they happened, not what they were.

Work is being affected. I'd get to work fine, but by the end of the night, I'd definitely be feeling the effects of sleep deprivation.

Those twilight periods haven't been as disturbing or frustrating as outright insomnia like last year, perhaps because in the initial period after getting up, I'd be fine. Well, more or less. More less, I guess.

If I didn't have to work, I'd be fine. But I guess anyone could say that.