OK, well that sucked. I'm not even sure the hiccups are gone, but I'm in a lull now and the latest count was 69 hours. New record after the 50 earlier this month. So if I had worked Friday night, I would have worked three shifts of work with hiccups.

Despite my constant references, no one at work thinks I'm suicidal. Probably a good thing. And insomnia hit a new low today, too, not even getting to sleep for the meager 3 or 4 hours. I did manage to put myself down for about 3 hours before work, though, and that got me through the shift. Whine, whine, whine.

And I'm going to the U.S. Tuesday. And I still have a shift to do at work. No sleep tomorrow night, as I'll no doubt be packing and leaving my apartment at about 5:30 A.M. to get to the airport.

I don't know how I feel about going back. I'm going back wrecked and no one knows anything about it. And my internal rage has been getting the better of my mind lately.

I need to implode and kill myself before I explode and hurt someone else. And I'm bringing back the paradigm that my life will have been wasted if my parents die before me. My purpose in life in respect to them is to give them that unexpected experience. Yea, that's self-serving, so what? What are you gonna do about it? See? . . . about to snap.

I am viewing this trip to wrap things up over there, no regrets, just in case I never go back and people rummage through my stuff. I want to know what they'll find. Because I care.

Also because a couple of my steel drum CDs didn't make it onto my iPod the last time I was there! I thought I put everything on, even the really obscure shit. I also know I have an early Namie Amuro CD in the stuff leftover from Josephine. I learned after Amina to never throw things away related to exes, just save them what the hell. And never get rid of negatives. That's probably my biggest regret.

With Josephine I saved everything, including that Namie Amuro CD which I remember disliking. I probably still won't love it because it was before she changed her music to a more R&B style. Back then she was pure hideous pop. My tastes have mellowed with age, and I like a limited amount of pop now, including Namie Amuro.

And especially Korean pop. I hate U.S. pop for most part, Japanese pop seems silly for most part, Taiwanese pop makes me gag, but the Korean pop artists I've been digging into, I download in bulk, put them on my iPod on shuffle play, and for most part, whenever something comes up, I'm like, "damn, this is good, dog". I'm not sure what's different, but the writing is just much better and better than generic.

Stuff like this is somewhat understandable, even though I'm not into techno, and techno is her basic background tracks, but she's quirky, even freaky, and it's great writing. Oddly, I've liked all of her stuff I've listened to. But then stuff like this it's inexplicable how I've listened to maybe over a dozen times and I'm still no where near sick of it. These mob girl bands were probably started in Asia by a Japanese group called Morning Musume in the early '90s and I couldn't stand them.

I'm babbling. I'm procrastinating from packing, and sleeping, and it's all gonna domino since I need to do laundry tomorrow morning, and then work. And I still don't know if I'm going to get to sleep. If I were Australian, I might say, "I'm totally facked".

Hm, hiccups not gone yet. 70 hours. I might see a doctor in the U.S. I'm hoping it's a tumor.