The irony is that I'd been pushing the band to change its name for some time. But is there a more appropriate name for a band that I'm in than "Fiction"? "Fiction", as an art form, is the story of my friggin' life. Until, that is, blogging came along. Blogging, as a form of expression, is decidedly non-fiction, unless explicitly fiction.
So maybe it is appropriate that I quit the band at this point.
What does blogging mean to me? It means being able to be honest. Even if it's veiled, you can at least put it out there into the "wired" as it's called in Lain. And putting myself into the wired, I feel like I'm letting myself go into it. I'm draining myself out and making it not so important, by making it public. Once I get it all out, I don't know. I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it.
I moved half of my stuff out of the studio today. I felt nothing. I have no attachment to Lisa or the band. Once I'm out and return the keys, that will be the end of our contact. With that kind of dynamic, it's not a matter of why am I quitting, it's a matter of why didn't I quit a long time ago?
So I'm also selling equipment I don't need, don't know why I even bought a lot of it. I pulled my reserve Takamine out of the studio and it sounds sooo good. I'm not selling it! I'll lend it to Sadie if she likes it, give it to her if I leave the area, but I ain't gonna let go of it. I like my main Takamine for some reason I don't know, but I think my reserve Takamine sounds better.
It also occurs to me that I can move away from this city anytime now, there's nothing keeping me here. Maybe I can be an ex-pat for a while, maybe go to Taiwan.
current soundtrack: The Kinks - "Muswell Hillbillies"
"Well, I cut down women, I cut out booze
I stopped ironing my shirts, I stopped cleaning my shoes
I stopped going to work, I stopped reading the news
I'm sitting twiddling my thumbs cos I got nothing to do
Minimal exercise to help uncomplicate my life
Gotta stand and face it, life is so complicated
Got to get away from the complicated life, son
Life is over-rated, life is complicated
Must alleviate this, complicated life"
- "Complicated Life" (The Kinks)
