I called my parents back after I ignored their phone calls all weekend. I don't want them thinking they can talk to me every week just because of the cell phone they provided. But I need to be more compassionate to them. Talk to them as often as they like. A foundation needs to be laid. Foundation for what, though, I have no idea.

They reported on what I see as suffering in their lives; what they see as life. My older brother and his wife are going to fire the nanny that my parents found to take care of the baby. The wife is having trouble getting along with the nanny.

That's suffering for my parents because of the wife's rejection of their choice for a nanny, who they consider perfect. Suffering for my brother and his wife as they search for a new nanny. Suffering for the baby who, although still an infant, directly experiences this wrenching change in nurturing. Suffering for the baby who is not being raised by his parents who are bent on their dual-physician income. Careless parenting.

My eldest brother – as my parents report, which is patently unreliable – is close to proposing to the woman he's dating. Suffering for my parents who can't help but meddle in none of their business. Suffering for my brother who might feel rushed and is looking down the barrel of serious life changes, responsibilities, and challenges.

And my parents suffer from the insatiable appetite of a hungry ghost. Well into their old age, they cannot stop working because however much money they make is never enough. This is not interpretation, I got them to say as much. Work and making money is all they have. They do take vacations and when they work, they look forward to their vacations. When they're on vacation, all they have to look forward to is coming home and working for more money.

But if they all think they're happy, who am I to say otherwise? Besides, what do I know of their lives?

For example, I go to Philadelphia to visit my brother who has the baby, I ring the doorbell, he lets me in, and we interact the way we always have. He says things, I observe him, I have opinions, I make judgments, but I know nothing about his day. I know next to nothing about his experience in the past ten years. I don't know if he just experienced a life-moving event in his job as a cardiologist. So who am I to point at his suffering?