I know that starting over's not what life's about, and here I am starting over. I leave for Taiwan on Tuesday. It was so sudden that I'm not sure how I'm adjusting to this new development. I didn't start packing until today, and late in the day, I decided to drive down to Philadelphia to visit my brother before I left.

I did it because I thought he would really appreciate it. I've been spending so much time with my other brother and I get along so well with his wife and her family. Whereas with Philly brother's wife, there's just no connection and there is a divide. We don't see much of each other, maybe he's a bit isolated from the rest of us in New Jersey. I just wanted to make it clear that he is important enough to me to drive down and visit him and his family before I leave.

I need to not think of going to Taiwan as starting over. I need to see it as a continuation of my path, the monastic one that I decided not to pursue at this time. I need to remember that just recently I was willing to give up my life. All the ideas going through my head of what I might do in Taiwan, all of it was forfeit not too long ago.

I need to really concentrate on keeping things basic and focus on my practice in a way that I haven't in New Jersey with so many distractions and diversions. It's hard. Habits. Momentum.

iTunes Soundtrack:
1. Your Love (Supergrass)
2. English Civil War (The Clash)
3. Soul Love (David Bowie)
4. Web In Front (Archers of Loaf)
5. Don't Mess With Bill (The Marvelettes)
6. Gloria (P.D.Q. Bach)
7. Games Without Frontiers (Peter Gabriel)
8. Lavendar (live) (Marillion)
9. Alladin Sane (Davie Bowie)
10. Capturing Moods (Rilo Kiley)