My brother's in-laws wanted to take me out to dinner before I left, so we drove out to their neck of the woods this evening. His marrying into their family has been the greatest thing for me. His in-laws have taken a shine to me and treat me like I'm the one who married into the family. I'm getting all the good perks of in-law extended Taiwanese family and none of the hassles of marriage. It really blows my mind and I'm very appreciative of them.

We talked about Taiwan and we made it sound like Taiwan will be so fun. I appreciated that, too. But I'm not 20 years old. I'm not going for fun. Then I got home and looked over budget considerations, and housing considerations, and long-term visa/residency considerations, and my mind shut down.

I am unaccustomed to taking the long-term into consideration, and doing things that I have to do because that's what people who live do, people who plan to live. But most people never lived like it was an option, and the inconveniences were just headaches to take care of and bitch about. I have to foolishly make it an issue of "is this the kind of person I want to be?"

I admit it. I'm stressed. And frustrated. I have to stop. This is not stress-worthy, and the frustration isn't based on reality. This is not a stressful move. Not only should I look at it as a continuation of my practice, but I should look at it just as a continuation, a flow.

I shouldn't think that I'm leaving here like my time here is ending, and going there is starting over and starting something new. Going there is just a continuation of the same thing, a continuum of existence. It's not a big deal. Relax, take things as they come. Let things fall in my lap.

I remember leaving San Francisco. That was stressful. That was my life falling in the forest and not making a sound because there was no one to hear it. This is not like that. The tree is still lying on the forest floor.

iTunes Soundtrack:
1. Navigators (Casiopea)
2. Dying (XTC)
3. Suite for Flute and Jazz Piano Trio No. 2: Intime (Bolling)
4. How Stupid Mr. Bates (The Police)
5. Jerry Was a Race Car Driver (Primus)
6. Symphony No. 21, III. Menuetto (Mozart)
7. Overjoyed (Victor Wooten)
8. Napoleon (live) (Ani DiFranco)
9. The Tide is High (Blondie)
10. Summer St. (Throwing Muses)