The object now is to not mindlessly get online as soon as the timer goes off.
My mantra these days to combat negativity is "denounce negativity, promote positive". To me, "denounce" is a pretty strong word. Not to be used lightly like the Chinese, for example during the Cultural Revolution when children were encouraged to denounce their parents' counter-revolutionary activity with promises of candy and kiddie Communist Party membership. I digress.
"Denounce" has overtones of "cast thee out", so if used in the wrong context with the wrong subject matter, it becomes dogmatic and self-righteous. So I don't agree with denouncing a legitimate political position, even if it's one I disagree with. Denouncing racism is fine because racism is just such a primitive, uncivil reaction that it just shouldn't exist.
Denouncing negativity is fine. I go about my day telling myself to denounce any negative thoughts that flow into or flow from my head, and then promote positivity to fill in the void. The object now is to have that mantra in place before a negative thought pops up in response to an external circumstance, in hopes of preventing it.
In Taipei, the thought, "What the hell are you doing in my way?!" is not to be considered negative, but rather a natural and expected reaction to the "reality" here. Although if I get to the point where I can stop thinking that, I wouldn't complain.
It's slow going, but progress is definite.
And then there are times I scan the moment and look for the reality in it, in my surroundings; my field of vision like a 360 degree, 3-D plasma screen. The nature of things is not molecules. And then add to that the emotional cacophony of being and consciousness.
STOP!
And the bombs turn into butterflies. Vigilant for signs of failing health in my death symptom watch, there's nothing more important than finding the happiness in right here and now.
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| Monday, August 6, 7:07 a.m. - Lying on my bed. |
