I was hoping the insomnia was gone. Since grappling with it two weeks ago in Kaohsiung, I think I've actually been getting enough sleep in hours, but I haven't been getting enough rest. Waking up and being able to go back to sleep may have been counting towards hours, but not rest. I've been just clinging on by my fingernails to get enough sleep to function at work. Just enough to not quit. And I'm about to quit again for good.
I went down to Kaohsiung again this past weekend. I got my Taiwanese citizenship. And my sleep got disturbed again. It's 8 in the morning now after sleeping from 5 to 6:20. Yesterday I got a full sleep, but then slept all through the afternoon, went to work the part time shift, which starts later, and I was a complete zombie. I think I was even near hostile at some points. I don't remember much of it. Sleep, but no rest. But I'm a Taiwanese citizen now.
I'm sick of the bullshit at the job. It's not a matter of just being satisfied with what I've got, just being happy, which I can do. I'll jump ship if any other opportunity comes up. I wasn't hostile in any way that other people would call hostile. I felt I was hostile, but I think "direct" is a more objective way to describe it.
Something's definitely wrong. Something definitely has to be wrong. If something's not wrong, what the hell is going on? How can I be abusing my life in this way without something seriously wrong? At this point, I just want to make it to my U.S. trip and wrap things up over there. Dropping dead at any point is just fine with me.
Kaohsiung:
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| FRIDAY, MAY 22 - Actually undated and unlocated, but confidently extrapolated. Rainbow V 22mm lens toy camera. Kodak BW400CN. |
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| SATURDAY, MAY 23 |
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| World Games stadium. |
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| 2:52 p.m. - World Games stadium. |
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| 4:01 p.m. - Dali shopping center. |
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| 4:58 p.m. - Park Road. |
