Breathe. Breathing. It's important.

Someone I know is having tension in his job. He asked me about relaxing. I said tension is in the body, relaxation is in the mind.

At the end of days, I need to be breathing.

My life is hinging upon equilibrium. Positive-negative. I've already established that there are no active positive elements in my life. The passive positive elements pale.

There are plenty of passive negative elements in my life, acting as the background radiation of my life, and the equilibrium I'm trying to maintain is a matter of keeping the active negative elements in check.

Basically I'm trying to maintain an equilibrium where the negative elements don't get the better of the positive. But it's impossible. The passive negative elements still drip drop by drop; they're always there. It's only inevitable that the passive negative elements will tip the scale. There is no equivalent effect on the positive side.

Is that right? I don't know if I'm conveying what I want to. I don't want to end my life with the negative prevailing. So I breathe. Breath is positive. Breath symbolizes life.

Part of me really thinks I'm near the end. I can feel it. Part of me thinks I'll Sisyphus it day to next unbearable day.