I have to admit that whatever strength I'm getting out of me is largely sourced in religious/spiritual/metaphysical excursions from college days. Mind exercises, open channel, and the value of mindful breathing should not be underestimated.
Mind you, none of that back then had anything to do with survival, and survival is still not my goal. I stole down that path because it looked real and attractive to me. It didn't matter that my "leaving" one of these days was inevitable, there was something objective, away from my subjective, lucid and clear, and regardless of where my subjective might eventually go or not, I had to pursue this clarity, this lucidity. This isn't making any sense, is it?
My modest goal in life is to touch a bit of clarity, to come to terms with what I really, really deep down think life and reality is. And I'm not doing that clawing at my soul trying to get out. Since I've started working, I've become too much of this world, when I really just need to go mad. So the plan now is to continue this cultivation of mellow, and to extinct craving.
I need to feel your heartbeat heartbeat
so close it feels like mine, all mine...
I remember the feeling my hands in your hair
I remember the feeling of the rhythm we made
I need to land sometime
"Heartbeat" - (King Crimson)
