how dry I am, how dry I am, nobody knows how dry I am:
God, what a funny song that is. I came home and had the smashing idea of staying dry this evening! It's so boring! I feel duh and blah. Now I remember why I drink.

I realize my brain would be a much better companion if I hadn't been killing off its cells all these years, but it's too late now. Livers come home to pasture, but brain cells are up shits creek without a paddle.

I know I didn't just do it, but I want to mix metaphors more. I love mixed metaphors. Shit is funny. If I hadn't been killing off brain cells all these years, I could probably do it.

So tonight was a sober waste of an evening. Now I'm worried that I won't be able to get to sleep. I admit to a mild addiction to alcohol, but if I went wild cold turkey, I don't think I'd have too serious a physical response.

Not like caffeine, without which my brain goes wiggy and I can't focus or concentrate. I think the effects of alcohol deprivation is mostly on my sleep, which has continued to be pretty bad even with alcohol saturation. Ooh, let's see if I don't wake up at an ungodly hour tomorrow morning!

One dry night at home is not about addiction, it's more about resisting a behavioral habit. Not hard.

addendum: Nope, still woke up prematurely after five hours of sleep. The best thing to do in these situations is to just get up. I've found if I try to go back to sleep and succeed, then I won't be able to get up until 8:30 or 9:00, and it will be extremely difficult. Of course, in a week and a half, this will be moot.

Falling asleep sober was interesting. Usually, I plunge into my blankets face first and wiggle and turn into them until I'm comfortable. But last night I climbed into bed like a normal person and lay there for what may have been 20-30 minutes.

It's been a long time since I've had that experience: You're lying there and suddenly your consciousness slips away a notch and things get darker and muted, and you notice it, but you quickly think, "That's ok, you're just falling asleep", but if you think too much you'll be awake again, and so you try to stay there, but if you try too hard, you'll be awake again. There must be some metaphor in this.