I can't do another yesterday today. I didn't get out of my apartment at all yesterday, except for late in the evening to put out some recycling and check my mailbox. Empty.

At least I had some human contact when Delphine called in the afternoon. We didn't stay on the phone too long. She ostensibly called to tell me she couldn't come into the city tonight. We were thinking about going to the Great American Music Hall, but hadn't confirmed anything. She didn't have to call, but she did.

I only realized this morning that maybe that wasn't the only reason she called, maybe she wanted to chat. I shouldn't have gotten off the phone so quick. I thought she was just calling to tell me that and had other things to do, so I got off the phone. Did she want to chat? Does she want to move our friendship beyond the casual and into a more confidante? Did I just screw up? That's OK. I resisted responding to her most recent long email last night, because I don't want our friendship to get too deep. Flat-line where Sadie is would be good.

For the first time since quitting, I had trouble sleeping. That might kill the theory that work was the primary cause of my sleeping problems. But for almost three weeks, I've been sleeping beautifully, even having some very nice dreams. I need to start recording them.

My sleeping hours have reverted to their natural patterns, which is going to sleep around three or four and waking up any time between 10 and noon. But last night I went to sleep early, a little past two, and then I woke up at five and couldn't get back to sleep. Actually, the night before wasn't a great night either; I kept needing to get up for more and more water. Bit strange. But after waking up at five, drinking water and orange juice, and not getting back to sleep, I was filled with a sense of foreboding. I still don't know what that was about.

It might just be knowing where my life is headed, having quit my job, having reached my target age, having realized a target date. This time it's gotta be for real. Yea, right, real, that's why it's still more than five months down the line.