Coincidences:
I used to say that I don't believe in coincidences. Well, actually, that I did believe in coincidences, but that they did not occur as often as we might think. Things happened for a reason, incidents of synchronicity were to be examined for meaning or learning or as clues. And more often than not, I would be able to get something out of occurrences that may have seemed like mere coincidence.

But then it faded, maybe because I kept telling the entity that I thought was always hanging around me and protecting and guiding me to go off and protect and guide someone else. Eventually coincidences just became empty, ordinary coincidences. Nothing special, nothing to notice, nothing to examine. They happened and then they were gone.

Several months ago, I wondered about that entity that I told to go away, could I ask it to come back? I have been, and I've started noticing coincidences again, like someone sending me messages and clues. I haven't been attaching any great meaning to them, but I haven't tried. I'm just noticing them more. At least I should keep track of them as I notice them.

This past Wednesday, I watched a movie called Now and Then, and in it there's a tarot card scene, and the card that comes up is "Death". Tonight, I watched a film called Walk On the Moon, and one of the characters using tarot cards, not only comes up with "Death", but it's the exact same tarot card as in "Now and Then". I don't know if the pictures on tarot cards are uniformly the same, I seem to recall a different "Death" card in "Live and Let Die", but maybe things have changed since then. No great meaning, something I just noticed, and I just happened to have watched both films within three days of each other.

Am I going anywhere with this? Absolutely not. In fact, watching "Walk On the Moon" and seeing depictions of the normative life, the idea of goals, and the ordinary journey that life is, or at least that mine faces, I'm more resolute that I'm done with this.

And the whole relationship theme that has been buzzing around me like a mosquito was also solidified. I don't want anyone else in my life, close to me, next to me, or the tragicomedy of human feelings. Even if I start to feel that angel around me again, I don't want anything changed. I just want her to be around for the end and watch and guide me.