So close, so close, so close. It's so strange.
Amy got back from Portland today with Lisa, and I picked them up from the airport. Afterwards, Amy and I went to Kezar Pub because I found on Craig's List that they would be showing coverage of the Tour de France. We ended up staying until past midnight even though she has work tomorrow. Amy, Amy, Amy, becoming friends so close to her leaving this city.
And with Delphine, we're closer and in August we might roadtrip together to Orange County, share a hotel room. Next month, too close! Am I being irresponsible? No, I can't think that way. We do what we do, and whoever is close to me at whatever point in my life . . . things happen.
I've been here before, letting external factors distract me. It won't happen this time. This time, it's just temptation, just a test. Amy and Delphine will get over it, despite the contact we've had; their current closeness is irrelevant.
I met blog-acquaintance Tiffany for the first time in person this weekend and she didn't seem exactly interested. I had no expectations, so I rolled with the punches. I'm not disappointed at all. I liked her writing and her expression, but you really cannot know a person through their blog writing. We were better off not meeting up in person. From the moment I knocked on her door, she just didn't seem interested or curious about who this was with whom she'd been in weblog contact for a year.
Allowing that maybe she took time to warm up to strangers, by the end of the weekend I felt like I was imposing. She was extremely gracious in letting me crash at her place for two nights and she was a super host, but whenever I decided to leave was alright by her.
In contrast, I would not reverse meeting Meghan through weblogs for anything. Sure, we haven't had enough exposure to each other to find out where our disagreements may lie, but I can't express how much I value the limited ways our lives have touched and intersected. It's always a risk meeting strangers where there might be preconceived notions. But with Meghan, in the three times we've met face to face, we did our best to put it behind us that we weren't all that well acquainted face to face.
It's a lie to say I didn't expect anything with Tiffany. I expected some minimal connection. The extent to which "I didn't expect anything" is manifested by the fact that I wasn't disappointed when there wasn't. It's OK that there wasn't.
So close, so close, so close. About a month, more or less, ideally. People. Sadie? Our close connection fell apart somewhere along the line. Sadie and I connected just fine, but when "Sadie" came to equal "Sadie and Bob", well it just doesn't sit to tell someone that their significant other is a drag. I should watch it, though. I gave Sadie the url of this weblog when we first met, and even though she doesn't come here, or else shouldn't, she might after the fact.
I also gave Madoka the url before I realized that it isn't cool to let close acquaintances and friends know too much, which occured about two weeks ago, and she, too, might come here after the fact. But no, I'm glad Madoka will have access to this after the fact, if nothing just to let her know I loved her. Which she should have known all along.
I'm sure there's more of this to come.
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