I was afraid of the pull, of falling for her. And I did. I fell in love with her all over again, over and over again, drawn into her face, drawn into her eyes, drawn into the corners of her mouth. As she talked, I would put my cheek against hers, feel the warmth, slide my lips towards hers. Kisses are superficial *munch, munch*, that's all. Kisses aren't love. Then I'd realize she was talking and I ought to be listening to her.
I'm not sure what the difference was today, but today I was not being stupid. There is nothing wrong with loving Hyun Ae, there is nothing wrong with being in love with Hyun Ae. The only thing that would be wrong would be to think that loving Hyun Ae had anything to do with Hyun Ae.
In the end, I just walked away. See you, bye. I don't need her to love her. I don't need her to love her? What does that mean? She's just an idea. I might leave next month and what real impact would she have had on my life? Her impact on my life has nothing to do with her. She is irrelevant to my life. That she had an impact on my life has all to do with me, and that's what I would carry back with me. First to New Jersey, and then to Tucson.
