This is not an emotional issue. Therefore any of the negative niggling that I perceive to be adding onto the justifications are actually moot.

What I've been documenting and writing about is not all there is to it. There is a lot being unsaid; a lot being unexplained. But a lot of those things are on the human level, and therefore not what I would necessarily consider valid justification.

Life is hard, there is a lot of shit everybody has to pull through and just deal with. A lot of shit that doesn't necessarily justify the pain suicide affects on other people and society.

Still, there is a basic instinct in me that informs me that I'm done. Someone take me out of the oven. It is above and beyond these little human things, which might otherwise counteract and balance that lemming instinct.

Everything is just compounding now, along with my pre-established time limit, to make things happen now. Now. The week-to-week is pretty much over.

What a surprise it's going to be for most people, I shouldn't wonder. There was a time in my life that I was projecting signs like a Crip. But now, it's no longer news to me, so there's no need for me to express anything.

My external signs show nothing like this was about to happen. Caveat: if it happens. There's just such a huge disconnect from what I want to do, rooted in what I was and had projected before, and how I present myself in real life. Maybe it won't be funny for them, but I get a little chuckle out of it. Some sort of ironic chuckle, I guess.