Within this fierce present hurling its way towards tomorrow, demanding a decision. Crossroads; do something dammit. And all I want is to just live in this immediate present and not do anything. Yes, that's what I've been doing for the past six months. Yes, the doctor said I had a touch case of enlightenment, but he's given me antibiotics for it.

In the meantime, I scour the past record and it is replete with cold, hard facts. The cold, hard facts, the ones that have already been decided by the jury to be fact. I'm the jury. Christ, it's all there in the record. There are no more issues of fact to be decided or deliberated. LEAVE ALREADY. I am also the judge.

But the very nature of living life, of being here, of existing in this precise moment demands that tomorrow and each tomorrow, each next moment be looked on anew, favorably, optimistically.

Hel . . . no, I won't say it.