Inundating myself with Buddhism these days, I have to remember that these things, truths and beliefs, must be found and not fed by blind faith. In general, Buddhism as a language comes through the airwaves with the clearest reception, but there are other things I understand better when spoken in Islam or Judaism, with Native American and other indigenous cosmology and spiritual belief contributing not a little. There has even been affirmation from Christianity once I get past the historical, political, superior-moralistic, imperialistic obscurations.

Truths and beliefs must resonate, and I don't find all things in Buddhism resonating. It's not that I think those things are wrong or that I disagree with them, but to be added to my pantheon of personal truths, to affect how I think and live, it must resonate. And not resonating now, doesn't mean it won't resonate sometime in the future or in a future life. It may well be, and this part of Buddhism resonates lightly, that past karmic obscurations are preventing these things from resonating.

In the book Dharma that Every Buddhist Must Follow, the Buddhist cosmology presented does not resonate, nor does the presented heirarchy of the cosmos, and I find certain contradictions and inconsistencies in what is presented. And in general, the book is quite a downer, focusing on innumerable negatives, which ring counter-productive in my ear (NB: the book was given to me by my cousin, and the group she got it from she later acknowledged was a cult, that her future husband got her out of). Although it's not as annoying as a lot of Western Buddhism which seems to focus on the exact la-la opposite, peace, inner tranquility, bliss and happiness, bunnies and rainbows.

In general, I'm allergic to religious constructions speaking for "all of humankind". Even Buddhism speaks of saving all humankind, that bodhisattvas will not enter Nirvana until Kurt asks them to all humanity can enter at once, due to their unlimited compassion. All of that goes against my fundamental resonant belief that the belief system of any given person you meet on the street must be respected. You don't smack them in the face with a trout because they belief this or that, or don't believe this or that.


A rose Luyen gave me for my birthday in 1992. A box in which Diem gave me a jade Buddha necklace.