What happened was that a person posted his suicide note in the Craig's List "Rants and Raves" section:
Date: 2003-09-25, 9:18AM
I have lived in this society for over 32 years and I am genuinely tired of it. All of the inanity and insanity has just driven me off the edge. I have stayed home from work today to make my final peace and make sure everything goes off without a hitch.
I am sharing this with all of you for two reasons. First, I just did not want to pass entirely unnoticed. I know this is something of an ego-driven reason, but hey: I’m human. Second, I wanted to show you that some people out here do not simply snivel and bitch without doing anything about the problems. I have tried all of my life to improve things for myself and for others, largely to little or no success. My life has been relatively decent, especially when compared to others’ around this world, but it just has not come completely together. I am not sad and this is not a cry for help. Just a statement.
When you complain about all of these ultimately unimportant subjects, just remember that unless YOU do something to improve that about which you complain, it is very likely nobody else will. Complaining really does not solve any problems. You need to either provide and execute solutions, or remove your self from that which bothers you so much.
I have attempted the former perhaps more than I should have. Unfortunately I have found extreme apathy in those to whom I have extended my help. Therefore, I shall now remove myself from the problem.
I will be ending this life later this evening in a quiet manner which will not require any assistance or clean-up. Again, this is not a cry for help, but I would appreciate your comments. Please be respectful. I have taken a long time to make my decision.
Be well, and be sure.
The sentiment sounds legit to me as a suicide note. I could have written this, but I wouldn't have and I certainly wouldn't feel any need to publicize it. Actually, the strongest reason why it's suspect is that real suicides generally do not publicize their intention, even if it's anonymous, and ask for comments. If you've made your decision, the discussion is over, you don't want or need "comments". If you've made your decision, your act is your expression, verbalizing and articulating your reasons to the general public is moot, you're gone, can't be helped, nothing's gonna change. But that is my uninformed doubt, this guy may be an exception as far as I know. I won't project on this guy the way so many people's responses did.
There was a torrent of diverse responses.
The best response, in my opinion, was one of the early ones:
Date: 2003-09-25, 10:11AM
I cannot begin to express the depth of my sympathy. I am quite impressed by how well you have expressed yourself. The very nature of your letter tells me that you are someone of intelligence and compassion. There are so many other people, entrenched in a process of anger and complaint with no intent of finding a solution to the problems of life, that would leave the world a better place if only they would have the courage to do what you intend. And it is sad that these useless bags of skin will remain and you will be gone.
I know the feeling, as frustration with life begins to take it's toll and depression begins to sink in. I can tell you that, should you change your mind, there is effective treatment for depression. A combination of anti-depressants and cognitive therapy can help you find a better sense of peace in the face of the frustrations that life is full of. I, for one, can only hope that you will try this first and not leave me, and many others like us, to carry on in the face of the snivelling complainers without you. The world will be just a little bit lonelier.
Should you decide to carry forth with you plans, I will mourn your passing. I will stand, tonight, in a moment of silence and feel the sadness as one more good soldier has left the battle field behind.
Your comrade
I admit there were other brilliant responses. Other responses gave advice or rational perspective. Some gave suggestions on how to get through another day. Others were understandably flippant, not knowing if this was a hoax or not, but benign. Some related their experience of sadness or pain, perhaps hoping it might mean something. Many were at least sympathetic, some extended helping hands.
Good intentions, but people who, from my perspective, can't put their feet into the shoes of a suicide. Even people who tried and failed couldn't necessarily put their feet into another suicide; it's too personally circumstantial. Still, I'm glad they posted just to show the level of compassion there is out there from total strangers.
Other responses were aggressively hostile, people who no doubt had been hurt and didn't/still don't know how to handle it. Responses that were insipidly moralistic and self-righteous, spouting about karma and what happens after death as if they knew; as if they knew for someone else. These included people who seemed read in Buddhism/Tibetan Buddhism, but that's all. Responses that berated him for being "selfish" or "cowardly". Some related their experience of how much their lives suck and how they, appropriately, "sucked it up", as if they thought that would mean something. Many were callous, hateful, jaded, and sarcastic.
We live our lives, we make our choices, sometimes they're bad, sometimes they're mistakes. I find it fascinating that the choice, the possible mistake, of committing suicide raises such a level of bile and invective like no other. They made their choice, now you have to make choices on how to deal with it.
For you, life is suffering; for them, life is suffering. They commit suicide, you "suck it up" to appreciate what you have. Yet you revile them for being cowardly and selfish because it causes more pain and suffering to people around them, and forecloses future "possibilities" and contributions the individual can make.
I guess it's just offensive to these people for someone to consciously take control to put these tenuous chains of events in motion. They can't accept that someone made a decision and that there's more for them to do. They tell a potential suicide to "get over yourself", but then the same can be said to people who are hurt by suicide and condemn the person - "get over it". And really, you should because if you're hurt, then you need to heal.
You can tell a potential suicide that they are responsible for their own fate and they can't blame anyone else for their life sucking (if it even sucks), but by the same logic, don't blame the suicide for "fucking up" other people's lives. One person blamed his father's suicide for fucking him up, when it was his fault for not taking measures to heal. The father could have died in a car accident, either way he's gone and you have to heal. But because it was by his own hand, it was offensive and "fucked up" the son. Father didn't take responsibility over the people his death would affect, son didn't take responsibility for himself by healing, instead blaming the father saying it didn't have to happen.
How many deaths "don't have to happen"? Wrong place at the wrong time. We split hairs with fate and decide to call them accidents, tragedies. Suicides are condemned, selfish, immature, cowardly. Whatever. They're still dead. We're still alive. Why the invective? It's "someone took their own life and that's the end, it was their self-pity that ended in suicide, now let's begin our self-pity in the form of condemnation", rather than acknowledging, if not accepting, that someone made their decision, and now it's our turn to decide how to deal with it for ourselves.
I've been writing this long enough, I've lost track of what I wanted to say. Time to give it a rest.
