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(formerly 'temporary solution for a permanent problem')
about me:
This weblog is not being written to be read. It charts a mental decline and a relentless, often distracted, crawl towards an inevitable suicide, with sophomoric ruminations on religion from a Buddhist biased point of view, some armchair cosmology and astrophysics, monastic aspirations, unexceptional photography and other really, really, REALLY DEEP THOUGHTS that contradict themselves and aren't supposed to be watertight. Get off my back.
"With mind distracted, never thinking, 'Death is coming,'
To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
And then to come out empty - it is a tragic error.
Recognition of necessity is the holy teaching
So won't you live this divine truth from now on?"
These are the words of the great adepts.
If you don't put the Mentor's precept in your mind,
Won't you be the one who deceives yourself? - Bardo Thödol (root verses).
Tibetan Book of the Dead documentary
"With mind distracted, never thinking, 'Death is coming,'
To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
And then to come out empty - it is a tragic error.
Recognition of necessity is the holy teaching
So won't you live this divine truth from now on?"
These are the words of the great adepts.
If you don't put the Mentor's precept in your mind,
Won't you be the one who deceives yourself? - Bardo Thödol (root verses).
Tibetan Book of the Dead documentary
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human journey - Native American saying various attribution
other web presences
Blog Archive
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▼
2003
(274)
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▼
December
(19)
- I don't want to be happy.If I wanted to be happy, ...
- Suicide is my prize possession.
- Plotting the arc I brought a book, Mountain Record...
- I won't feel bad about not contacting Madoka more ...
- So I kinda mentioned in passing that the historica...
- My family doesn't celebrate Christmas. The way I ...
- The more I talk about suicide, the less inclined I...
- If my understanding is right, then I can kill myse...
- Haha, well I hope this broke the funk I was in. I...
- That was it; gone. Like a door opening and a door...
- I've been continuing my home practice, but it's be...
- Delphine's birthdayDecember 13, 2003; 8:12 P.M. - ...
- After three not-so-great days of pre-Deer Park thi...
- OK, much better. I went to sleep in my own bed an...
- The day flying back to San Francisco from New Jers...
- Yay! It's snowing! I don't remember the last tim...
- December 5, 2003; 1:26 P.M. - Out the front door ...
- Being in New Jersey in December is bringing back m...
- That was one hard discussion Meghan and I had on S...
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▼
December
(19)
other links:
Labels
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- consciousness time (25)
- cosmology astronomy physics universe (42)
- Craigs List suicide note (31)
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- cycling running (170)
- death (140)
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- mental health medical (153)
- metaphor (54)
- mindfulness practice (136)
- mix CD (42)
- monastery (100)
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- neurotic dysfunction (126)
- New Jersey days (66)
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- paradigms personal theory (227)
- personal relations (158)
- personality insight (136)
- personality psychology identity (75)
- photography (397)
- politics race humanity (82)
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- reads (58)
- reincarnation (59)
- religion (60)
- Ritu (14)
- rotten tomatoes (83)
- Sadie (28)
- San Francisco days (107)
- self-destruction (38)
- self-portrait (43)
- Shiho (7)
- sleep paralysis (4)
- suicide (311)
- surrealitivity (115)
- Taipei daily life (307)
- the big joke (39)
- the life cycle (42)
- the path (75)
- the story so far (24)
- Tibet (12)
- Tibetan Book of the Dead (61)
- travelogue (28)
- video (49)
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- zen (10)
- Zohar (7)
full list of mix CDs of every year of my life, imbued with blessings
- 1969
- 1970
- 1971
- 1972
- 1973
- 1974
- 1975
- 1976
- 1977
- 1978
- 1979
- 1980
- 1981
- 1982
- 1983
- 1984
- 1985
- 1986
- 1987
- 1988
- 1989
- 1990
- 1991
- 1992
- 1993
- 1994
- 1995
- 1996
- 1997
- 1998
- 1999
- 2000
- 2001
- 2002
- 2003
- 2004
- 2005
- 2006
- 2007
- 2008
- 2009
- 2010
- 2011
- 2012, part one
- 2012, part two
- 2013, part one
- 2013, part two
- 2014, part one
- 2014, part two
- 2015, part one
- 2015, part two
- 2016, part one
- 2016, part two
- 2017 part one
- 2017 part two
- 2018 part 1
- 2018 part 2
- 2019 part 1
- 2019 part 2
- 2020 part 1
- 2020/21 part 2
Desert Island Discs
- Kansas - Two For the Show
- Genesis - The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway
- Tom Waits - Frank's Wild Years
- Ringo Shiina - Karuki Zamen Kuri No Hana
- Tizzy Bac - 我想你会变成这样都是我害的
- Throwing Muses - Limbo
- Versus - Two Cents Plus Tax
- Modest Mouse - The Lonesome Crowded West
- Marillion - Clutching At Straws
- Southern All-Stars - Umino Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!
reading list
- Confusion Arises as Wisdom - Ringu Tulku
- Dakini's Warm Breath - Judith Simmer-Brown
- Secret of the Vajra World - Reginald Ray
- The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying - Sogyal Rinpoche
- The Essential Zohar: The Source of Kabbalistic Wisdom - Rav P.S. Berg
- The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
- Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind - Shunryu Suzuki
- Mountain Record of Zen Talks - John Daido Loori
- Illusions - Richard Bach
- The Conference of the Birds - Farid ud-Din Attar
- Heart Wood from the Bodhi Tree - Buddhadasa Bhikkhu
- The Character of Rain (The Metaphysics of Tubes) - Amelie Nothomb
