That was it; gone. Like a door opening and a door closing were my bookend visits to Deer Park Monastery. It was just a glimpse for me, just a glance, just a sample, something to strive for more concretely in a future life perhaps. But in this one? It was very real, and I won't forget it, but something just doesn't feel right. 

My mind is baffled trying to conceive dimensions it is physically uncapable of conceiving. It stretches and is torn apart falling into black holes. It floats in amorphous wisps at the edges of the universe. I envision the compact physicality of the grey matter of my brain in my skull and at the very center is an endless, dark abyss. Like a jelly donut, but more sinister. 

My physical reality flakes and distorts, parts of it crumble if I'm not careful. Strange being. Calm and collected facade, living a pretty easy physical life, but my psyche feels assaulted and brutalized by an alter ego in another dimension, just a thin membrain away. 

And this goes on for . . . how much longer?