I guess it had to happen. I wondered if it might happen. But now that it's happened, there was no reason for me to believe it would happen. Nothing big, just that I met an old college acquaintance at a retreat here this weekend.

Tall Asian woman, typical long, straight black hair, typical white husband/partner. Two kids. I didn't think anything of her until I saw her wearing an Oberlin sweatshirt while I was standing on the breakfast line.

Totally going against my avoidant tendencies during retreats to praise be my alma mater, I asked her if she went to Oberlin, pointing at her sweatshirt. When she said, yes, I pointed at myself and said, and this is an idiotic college alumni ritual, "'92". She said, "I know you. Koji, right? It's Pamila." :/

Pronounced pa MEE la. No question about whether I remembered her or not. Of course I did. "Lew?". I would never have recognized her, though. The monk standing behind me in line busted out laughing.

As I recall, typical for me, we ended our friendship on a blah note. I vaguely remember us becoming good friends really quickly and hanging out a lot. She was wild and loud and a lot of fun. I was quiet, introspective, and maybe artsy. Something must have gotten old, and we stopped talking and then she graduated.

She didn't change my life like other people did, but she is definitely one I've remembered and thought about through the years. She was unique. I looked up to her. And meeting up with her now? Nothing.

She's lived up to her Oberlin ideals it seems, and although she went to law school and became an attorney, she's working for progressive causes. Otherwise, I imagine she's living a pretty ordinary life. I don't know if she is, but looking at her attorney husband, raising two children – a beautiful girl and little boy, and hearing that she's a lawyer in Los Angeles, I imagine that an "ordinary life" is something I would never want.

And there's no reason for me to believe it would be any different with anyone else from the past. I thought if any Oberlin people showed up here, it might be Diem or Luyen, who are Vietnamese. I was much closer to them, but no, it wouldn't be any different. We've grown up and grown old. Older than we once were, younger than we'll be, but that's not unusual.