Englewood Cliffs, NJ

I was supposed to have killed myself years ago and passed up multiple opportunities to do so. Every life decision I've made, in retrospect, has sucked. I've run my life and future prospects into the ground, constantly dismantling it, ensuring no continuity or stability. There's nothing I want to do, so I wander in limbo, and at any given moment, live with the last bad life decision I made until critical mass forces me to make another bad life decision. I think of five years from now, ten years from now, 20 years from now, and there is no point to this. All my relationships have soured, and I keep surrounding myself with people who casually stab me in the back. It's a pattern. It's endemic.

I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to believe that there is only one thing left to do – be happy.