Philadelphia, PA

I'm in Philly visiting one of my brothers who had a daughter this past Summer. Sarah Rebecca is a curious thing, doesn't look like either parent, and is nothing like her 2 and a half year old brother. She's completely alien, to be brought into the family fold on her own terms, and in her own time.

11:21 a.m. - Sarah Rebecca

I already saw my oldest brother's daughter who was also born this past Summer. She's adorable and definitely feels like part of the family. I have no idea what I mean by that.

October 6, 1:29 p.m. - Tessa Rose

On the way down here, I dropped off my uncle and aunt from Kaohsiung at my uncle in New Jersey's house. Audrey was already there. She flew the same day as I did, but a different airline. She has money, so she flew EVA Air – the safer airline. If you have money and a family, you should never fly China Airlines.

My decision to come to the U.S. now happened really fast. I had been planning to make the trip in November for visa and plane ticket purposes, but I went down to Kaohsiung last weekend and learned that my uncle was planning to come to the U.S. now, and my school has two vacation days during this period, so I can miss less class than if I came in November.

So, in my usual avoidance of making my own decisions, when I returned to Taipei, I decided if my parents called that night and didn't give a negative reaction to my visiting now, I would go. That happened.

Audrey is starting to act different towards me again. I pretty much ignore her as much as possible now. She's persona non grata now. I don't necessarily ignore her coldly like she isn't there, which is what I do if I don't like someone, but I've just been matching her level of ambivalence in my life. I don't go out of my way to talk to her or acknowledge her, blah, blah, blah. I'd bore myself if I wrote more about it.

But when I visited last weekend in Kaohsiung, she came to give me a hug. I was ready to give a quick, half, non-hug, but she gave me a real, full on hug, and held it several beats longer than I expected. Fractions of a second containing more emotional information than words can ever communicate. Instinctively, I gave her a quick squeeze before separating, letting her I know I get it. Completely counter to what our relationship has been for the past year.

Same thing when we met at our uncle in New Jersey's house yesterday. I gave her no special acknowledgement, paid more attention to her kids, barely made eye contact, almost left without saying goodbye, but then she was suddenly there and we hugged.

October 7, 2:58 p.m. - Pie and Gracie, Bridgewater, N.J.

I'm sick of being emotionally manipulated by these women, her and Hyun Ae, but I have to admit that I'm allowing myself to be emotionally manipulated. It's a part of my decision to not make decisions. Or rather, my making decisions by setting up circumstances, and having the outcome of the circumstances make my decisions.

So I'm not really sick of being emotionally manipulated by these women. I'm sick of the outcome. So that I'm cutting off in my own way. I have no idea what I mean by that.

Philadelphia photography:

Pentax K2 (taking my old camera out for a spin), Kodak BW400CN:

Street shooting. Scan.

Ultimate Frisbee at U. of Pennsylvania. Scan.

That's a landmark-looking building near 30th St. Station that locals would likely all know. I could look it up easy enough, but I'd be pretending I knew something I didn't. CD-R.

30th Street Station interior. CD-R.

Schuylkill River, 30th St. Station and that landmark-looking building. Scan

12:49 p.m. - 30th Street Station interior.

1:09 p.m. - Schuylkill River. Same subjects as the last black & white.

1:14 p.m. - Riverside access from my brother's place (amidst those brick buildings to the right) requires crossing active railroad tracks.

1:37 p.m. - Philly geometric.

iTunes soundtrack:
1. So Much Things To Say (Bob Marley & the Wailers)
2. Celluloid Heroes (live) (The Kinks)
3. Bitter Memories (Bakufu Slump)
4. Los Tres Deliquentes (Delinquent Habits)
5. That's the Way (Led Zeppelin)
6. Shadows and Tall Trees (U2)
7. Erotica Seven (Southern All-Stars)
8. Rightstarter (Message to a Black Man) (Public Enemy)
9. On the Air (Peter Gabriel)
10. Allah, Mohammed, Char, Yaar (Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan)