Englewood Cliffs, NJ

Paradigm
I am looking at my current life as solely being the seeds for future lives. I'm not going to accomplish anything in this lifetime. I can't. Don't want to try. Pointless. Close my eyes, look in the mirror, tell my brain to please shut down already. No? Well okay, then. Whatever.

We live our lives and treat them as all-important, the focus of our being. We are here now, so we have to follow our mind, our ego. We want a family, we want a career, or we want this, or want that, so we do this or that.

I want to live my life as if it's not important at all. I want to live my life recognizing that any given moment is the result of my past actions, and that my current actions will result in future actions and being. Karma. If you want to know something about your past lives, look at your life right now. If you want to know something about your future lives, look at your life right now.

Looking at my life right now, I have a long way to go. What I hope to impress upon my psyche is that I'm trying. I'm trying to break through, I'm trying to know, I'm trying to realize. Even with the self-destruction, I'm trying.

I don't want to live my life, doing something now that will result in something further on in this life. I want to focus on doing something now that will result in something in a future life. Is that the way to live? In general, maybe not, but for me, okay then, whatever.