It's been a week since I've been back, and I've been switching my sleeping hours to be up all night.

I'm tired of hanging out with Hyun Ae and will aim to put an end to it. It's not just that she's inaccessible, but it's what she represents. I'm not sure what she represents. Most of what she represents is about me, what she represents about me to myself. What I don't want. What I don't want out of life. What I don't want out of relationships. A little of what she represents is about her and has to do with my relationship to the outside world – no real connection, no loyalty, can't trust her.

I don't know how it got so ugly. The mix of desire and reality. Not desire for her, but desire for finding what I really want. Which is unrealistic at best. I really want connection. It's not in my karma – I just feel it. And if I can't get it, I don't want to desire it. God, what does that mean anyway? I desire I lot of things I can't get. Desiiiro un burriiito.

This thing with Hyun Ae is basically shutting down something that shouldn't need to be shut down. It should never have been "turned on" in the first place. And that something got turned on annoys me to no end. Even if she's just a friend, she needs to prove that she's a friend, and she hasn't proven she's any friend aside from what I've conjured in my own mind.

Just shut it down. Stop being stupid.

Nikon N70, Ilford XP2 Super, all CD-R:

Motor scooter culture.

Chinese style stone bridge at Bihu Lake (or Bi Lake), Neihu District.

Taipei 101 and Maishuai Bridge #2 from right bank of the Keelung River.

A rare sight. Aside from the annual Dragon Boat Races there is surprisingly little recreational river activity in the Taipei area. I don't know if has to do with the properties of the river that make it difficult. 

Passing by Taipei 101 on the way home at about 4:00 p.m.

12:56 p.m. - Well, there's your problem!

2:38 p.m. - Bihu in color.

3:04 p.m. - That looks like a gravesite along the side of the road! I don't know if it was some prominent family or of historical significance, but it certainly was curious seeing a single tomb in an otherwise urban setting (It's historical (林秀俊墓), several centuries old and has since been developed into something more than a single tomb by the roadside and less exposed like this. - future ed.). 

3:05 p.m. - Alien antennae disguised as art, Neihu Sports Park. And judging by the timestamp, that tomb is around Neihu Sports Park. 

3:14-3:15 p.m. - From Neihu Sports Park footbridge, views up the Keelung River (NNW) towards Neihu and down (SSW) with Taipei 101 visible. In years to come, the bikeways would be widened and much improved.