It took three days for her to realize I wasn't going to visit. Three days after her realization, I receive this.
Audrey:
September 23; 7:24 AM:
Good, see you soon
Speechless. It's not like it was an easy decision not to go, and it's not like my not going has no meaning. It's just further solidifying the complete break between us. Nothing negative or spiteful, just fact.
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about me:
This weblog is not being written to be read. It charts a mental decline and a relentless, often distracted, crawl towards an inevitable suicide, with sophomoric ruminations on religion from a Buddhist biased point of view, some armchair cosmology and astrophysics, monastic aspirations, unexceptional photography and other really, really, REALLY DEEP THOUGHTS that contradict themselves and aren't supposed to be watertight. Get off my back.
"With mind distracted, never thinking, 'Death is coming,'
To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
And then to come out empty - it is a tragic error.
Recognition of necessity is the holy teaching
So won't you live this divine truth from now on?"
These are the words of the great adepts.
If you don't put the Mentor's precept in your mind,
Won't you be the one who deceives yourself? - Bardo Thödol (root verses).
Tibetan Book of the Dead documentary
"With mind distracted, never thinking, 'Death is coming,'
To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
And then to come out empty - it is a tragic error.
Recognition of necessity is the holy teaching
So won't you live this divine truth from now on?"
These are the words of the great adepts.
If you don't put the Mentor's precept in your mind,
Won't you be the one who deceives yourself? - Bardo Thödol (root verses).
Tibetan Book of the Dead documentary
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human journey - Native American saying various attribution
other web presences
Blog Archive
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2014
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September
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- Triumph! My method in trying to get my climbing le...
- I'm still continuing my recitation of the Tibetan ...
- I don't know if this morning qualifies as back-end...
- Ah, so the fourth day in a row of back-end insomni...
- Three nights in a row of back-end insomnia. But pr...
- nature of my closest relationships, part 3
- the nature of my closest relations, part 2
- the nature of my closest relations, part 1
- I haven't been able to get on my bike, despite sev...
- EunB had expressed her dream for Ladies' Code to h...
- Another morning of back-end insomnia. I set the ti...
- Things had been going so well sleep-wise that I wa...
- RiSe of Ladies' Code has also died. I noted af...
- Total insomnia last night; never settled into a sl...
- Heartbreaking. Such heartbreaking news about Ladie...
- Two nights in a row of back-end insomnia. So those...
- Wow, mean bout of depression. I got a full night s...
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September
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full list of mix CDs of every year of my life, imbued with blessings
- 1969
- 1970
- 1971
- 1972
- 1973
- 1974
- 1975
- 1976
- 1977
- 1978
- 1979
- 1980
- 1981
- 1982
- 1983
- 1984
- 1985
- 1986
- 1987
- 1988
- 1989
- 1990
- 1991
- 1992
- 1993
- 1994
- 1995
- 1996
- 1997
- 1998
- 1999
- 2000
- 2001
- 2002
- 2003
- 2004
- 2005
- 2006
- 2007
- 2008
- 2009
- 2010
- 2011
- 2012, part one
- 2012, part two
- 2013, part one
- 2013, part two
- 2014, part one
- 2014, part two
- 2015, part one
- 2015, part two
- 2016, part one
- 2016, part two
- 2017 part one
- 2017 part two
- 2018 part 1
- 2018 part 2
- 2019 part 1
- 2019 part 2
- 2020 part 1
- 2020/21 part 2
Desert Island Discs
- Kansas - Two For the Show
- Genesis - The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway
- Tom Waits - Frank's Wild Years
- Ringo Shiina - Karuki Zamen Kuri No Hana
- Tizzy Bac - 我想你会变成这样都是我害的
- Throwing Muses - Limbo
- Versus - Two Cents Plus Tax
- Modest Mouse - The Lonesome Crowded West
- Marillion - Clutching At Straws
- Southern All-Stars - Umino Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!
reading list
- Confusion Arises as Wisdom - Ringu Tulku
- Dakini's Warm Breath - Judith Simmer-Brown
- Secret of the Vajra World - Reginald Ray
- The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying - Sogyal Rinpoche
- The Essential Zohar: The Source of Kabbalistic Wisdom - Rav P.S. Berg
- The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
- Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind - Shunryu Suzuki
- Mountain Record of Zen Talks - John Daido Loori
- Illusions - Richard Bach
- The Conference of the Birds - Farid ud-Din Attar
- Heart Wood from the Bodhi Tree - Buddhadasa Bhikkhu
- The Character of Rain (The Metaphysics of Tubes) - Amelie Nothomb
