I just hate explaining myself. I'm really bad at it and I always come across wrong. And my feelings about it? My mind goes into overdrive and it's completely blank.

I've been listening to stuff I wrote and recorded before, and mind you it's pretty excruciatingly bad, but I'm glad I have the stuff recorded because it documents a certain time of my life for me. But I was also listening to the stuff for a frame of reference, what was I doing back then? what was my thought process? creative process? how did I do it back then? what was I feeling and trying to express?

And it's clear to me that the way I wrote back then is not the way to write songs. A line of lyric would come to me, and I would try out chords under it while trying out melodies for the lyric, and at the end of the session I would have a line of lyric, chords under it, and a way to sing the line of lyrics. And I'd be so psyched that I came up with something, that I'd go and do something else to relax. If it takes that long to come up with one line of a song, there's no way it's gonna be any good.