A "what the hell is wrong with me" rant:
Just for the record, I don't want to get "better", I don't want to be here, I don't want to exist, I want to be excised from physical reality and leave no trace. I want to fade into air like a wisp of smoke.
What is this feeling I have every year at this time? Every year I feel like I can't make it to the end of April. Every year I do. Every year I'm sure this is the year, this year I'll make it, this year I will succeed, this year I will be a success. And each end of April I meet with failure. "Hello, May, how do you do?"
I want to strike this set and tear down the scenery, stop being the character playing the part and get back to being the actor. But that just means preparing for another role with no certainty it will be any more bearable.
And still this feeling that pervades me to the core. Another year of the inevitable riding it out does not look attractive from this side of April.
Just for the record. /end rant.
I feel better now.

current soundtrack - Built to Spill (Perfect From Now On)