tick, tick, tick
How annoying is it for me to keep griping about wallowing at work and not doing anything about it? It's lame. It's pathetic. Do I want to be lame and pathetic? Am I somehow pre-disposed to be lame and pathetic? Ooh, can I blame it on my parents? Their complacency? Their simple satisfaction in life just by making money? I'm probably simplifying them, but I don't know a whole lot about them.

Wouldn't it be nice to have dreams the size of breadbox? Simple life, goals easily achieved, goals achieved early and bliss in ignorance for the rest of one's life.
Goals the size of an SUV, striving for attainable goals.
Goals the size of a house, striving for goals that push the envelope, you think they're attainable, but they may not be.
Goals the size of a city, goals that make the world a better place to live in, dealing with government, politics, or policy. Day-to-day frustrations urged on by day-to-day satisfactions.
Goals the size of a mountain, unattainable goals as they are not practical and have nothing to do with living life or reality.

My goals aren't that big. I just want a little bit of clarity on the nature of life and reality. To look around me with my eyes and have a slightly better idea what this all is. And why.

I have plenty of reasons to quit. I don't have a single good reason to stay. But I have plenty of reasons to leave altogether, and not a single good reason to stay. Elizabeth said, "I dare you to give notice", and that pissed me off at the time because it trivialized what is going on, but now I'm thinking that's exactly what it's gonna take. Any reasons I have for staying are trivial!!