Keeping track of frustrations.

Last night, my building lost water. These little facts of life always are a cause for stress. Would I need to call the landlady in the morning?, would someone else do it?, what time should I wait for to call? Can't shower, need to use drinking water to brush teeth, can't flush, can't wash hands.

But little frustrations and inconveniences like these can also happen in the monastery. I know for a fact that it happened once at Deer Park when I wasn't there. The difference there is that you have a community to get through it with. Even if it ends up being you who has to fix (or figure out how to fix) the problem, at least you know. You're not an island unto yourself, sitting in your apartment not knowing how the problem will resolve.

This problem took care of itself. Someone else called the landlady, the landlady called in workers to fix the water pump, and she called me before I called her to tell me about the problem and when to expect things back in order.

I was very happy to receive that call. I thought about people in poor communities around the world who will never get that call saying that they will have fresh running water in a few hours. I feel very lucky to have fresh running water.

It's possible to say that those poor communities aren't paying the rent I do to have fresh running water, but why would I make myself unhappy by pointing that out? I'm happy that I have a place to live. I'm happy that it usually has running water, and if it stops working, I'm happy that the problem will get fixed.

There are a lot of things I'm happy about that I think about a lot. I don't like ruining those thoughts by going the extra step to point out why I should be unhappy in spite of them.

I'm not fooling myself that I'm happy. I'm still coming to terms with the unhappiness in my life, or the unhappiness that is my life. But it's good for my mind to remember being happy, and leaving it at that.

iTunes soundtrack:
1. Something (demo) (The Beatles)
2. Quinn Beast (Archers of Loaf)
3. Around the Dial (The Kinks)
4. Follow You, Follow Me (live) (Genesis)
5. Clash City Rockers (The Clash)
6. Family Groove (The Neville Brothers)
7. Meditation (Meditacao) (Laurindo Almeida and the Bossa Nova All-Stars - ultralounge)
8. 5:15 The Angels Have Gone (David Bowie)
9. How Long Has This Been Going On? (Lena Horne)
10. Childhood's End? (Marillion)