I don't want a funeral. I don't want to leave a body. I just want to disappear, a mystery, no body ever found. I can't think of a greater indignity to my being than a funeral.

I've made a dubious peace with my parents, but, without malice, I feel that they don't deserve to 'say goodbye' to me. How uncomfortable would that be? Probably more uncomfortable than the time they picked me up from the mental hospital after having committed me. They pretended nothing had happened. Seriously, no malice. Believe it or not.

I no longer believe in this material world, the people, the places, the experiences. They are to be appreciated, but only in the moment. In the big picture, they pass as clouds. But as far as the material world goes, in the end, if there's anybody who would thank me, that would make it all worth it.