I'm feeling my meditation has suffered the most from the recent distraction. Something's different and it feels off-track. My mind is out-of-control distracted during sitting. I have no control over it going all over the place, and something feels different.

Having a distracted mind during sitting is nothing new and no reason to kick myself. It happens. Frequently. But I had gotten to a point where I could follow the distracted thoughts and still feel like this was meditation. I could watch my mind, watch the distractions.

But now, I get distracted, thoughts go everywhere, and when I notice it I feel like I had no idea what was going on. I wasn't watching my mind and the distractions, they took on a life of their own and became reality during meditation.

Hyun Ae and I are getting back to our normal reality and relationship, but I think we miss our hanging out last week. *??* I still have a hard time with thinking that she might think something about me beyond our circle of classmates. It's just impossible.

I miss her, but from me to her, that makes sense. From her to me makes no sense whatsoever on multiple levels. But today after lunch I mentioned to her that I wanted to go shopping for running clothes in Gongguan and asked her if she wanted to come. She immediately replied yes! Breaking up is so hard to do. She was ready to go with me today, but I had something to do so it will have to be tomorrow :p

I'm watching this. Nothing will happen between us, but I'm watching my feelings and seeing if any love can be stoked out of this. My feelings are my own personal experiment.

The "something" I had to do was check out a used bike someone was selling. It was super far away in Neihu District where I had been earlier in the month. This is from a bus crossing the Minquan Bridge over the Keelung River. Pentax ZX-5n, Kodak BW400CN. Scan. The CD-R scan is sharper and overall better quality, but something just felt more "comfortable" about this "home" scan.

iTunes soundtrack:
1. The Drop (Peter Gabriel)
2. Teen Town (Kenwood Dennard)
3. Onna no Kappa (Southern All-Stars)
4. America (Simon & Garfunkel)
5. I Can't Quit You, Babe (Led Zeppelin)
6. Once a Thief (The Kinks)
7. Innocent When You Dream (78) (Tom Waits)
8. Strange Meadow Lark (Dave Brubeck Quartet)
9. Peace Music (Pizzicato Five)
10. Bring the Boys Back Home (live) (Pink Floyd)

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