It was a week ago that Hyun Ae uncharacteristically called on a Friday night, uncharacteristically asking if I could get together with her on Saturday. She then uncharacteristically didn't bail on those plans. Since then, this has been Hyun Ae Week. All Hyun Ae, all the time.

We had our "bad" day today. Not that we're allowed to have "bad days", there is nothing between us and there is no potential for anything. We're just friends, so there is no "good" or "bad" days, just days as friends. Variable days as friends.

But circumstances today had it so that we didn't stick with each other all the time. One person even noticed it. We noticed it. But we both denied that there was anything that should be construed in a way that we should be sticking with each other. Although I think we both would have preferred it.

I don't know if it was awkward. It may have been, but if it was we both knew it was necessary, so it was OK. When we parted ways after lunch, I (uncharacteristically) told her to call me if she wanted to do something this weekend, and our eye contact lingered for just a few crucial seconds as we walked away from each other to let each other know that today('s bad day) wasn't personal.

So.

So...

So?

So nothing.

I wonder if I could fall in love with her, just as a mental exercise, and I realize I don't know what love is. I think people who have really touched love realize that they don't know what it is. Although there are people who have really touched love who do know what it is. Both exist.

I don't know, and I don't think I could fall in love with her anyway. Falling in love stopped being an option for me. I don't know when it happened, it just did. Some time after Josephine. When I didn't recover from that relationship.

Oh, she just messaged me asking if I could get together with her tomorrow. This is real-time blogging. And of course, I'm tickled yes. Have I mentioned how stupid I've been lately? Being stupid is underrated.

But no, I'm keeping this in perspective and taking this in stride. She's just my best friend here. She is my Sadie here. I have no intention of letting her become my Amina here.

iTunes soundtrack:
1. Bellyache (Echobelly)
2. Tomorrow Never Knows (Phil Collins)
3. Play My Music (Exodus Steel Orchestra)
4. I Shall Scream ("Oliver!")
5. Skin Tight (Ohio Players)
6. She Watch Channel Zero?! (Public Enemy)
7. In the Flesh? (Pink Floyd)
8. With Every Light (Smashing Pumpkins)
9. Y Tu Que Has Hecho? (Compay Segundo - "Buena Vista Social Club")
10. New Feeling (live) (Talking Heads)

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